Timmy Strikes Back
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Happy Hour
I almost hosted an intervention for Mr. Bingham last night, but much like his sobriety, it didn’t stick. All of this talk of drinking got me thinking: I should host a cocktail party. In Oxford, my prowess behind the bar earned me the moniker “The Secret”, because my drinks were strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. The key to throwing a successful party is to know your audience, specifically what they like to drink.
Cricket 101
It has come to my attention that most Americans exhibit a shocking lack of knowledge about cricket. People know about Pinocchio’s best friend and Buddy Holly’s backing band, but nothing of the world’s only game played in fashionable vests and khakis. Thus I have prepared a quiz to help introduce America to the wonderful world of batsmen, wickets and googlys.
Seduction Par Timmy
Ever think to yourself, ‘Oh my, that Timmy is so charming. He is perfect in every way and irresistible to all women. How can I be more like him?’ Of course you have. Since I’m in a generous mood today, I’m giving away my secrets to courtship. You can thank me later.
The Worst (read: Gayest) Proposal Video Ever
Are you considering getting married? Do you want to propose to the girl of your dreams? You really think you’re ready for that next step in your life? Well, here’s what getting married really means. Yikes. I’ve never been fortunate enough to fall in love, but after seeing this video, I’m not sure I want to. Ever.
Heckling... Timmy Style
Giving your all to your team is an important part of being fan…just not as important as heckling your opponents. Those losers need to be told how pathetic they are. Here’s how to do it:
Geronimo Vs. Gandhi: The Main Event
Have you ever been confused by the word ‘Indian’? Of course you haven’t, but Mr. Dunbar has. I’ve made a little video blog to straighten things out. Enjoy.
My Bucket List
Well, it’s over. Suneetha and I are no more. It was not meant to be. Yes, she was probably the most beautiful woman who ever talked to me without asking for a loan, but alas, there are so many places to see, so many adventures to have, and so many women to schtup. Drawing inspiration from the classic movie, "The Bucket List," I have decided to create a list of things I would like to do .
My Boss, My Burden
Webster’s dictionary defines charity as generosity and helpfulness especially toward the needy and suffering. What do those pompous blowhards know anyway?
Trying On Uniforms
These two gentlemen sent in this video detailing a rough work environment. I can sympathize. Most corporate meetings are nothing like this one.
The Top Five
Yesterday, I met my arranged bride to be and to use my employer's subtle, eloquence…"ba-boing"! Suneetha is the most exquisitely beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. It's as though she was conceived when an angel made love to a swan in a bed of lotus plants as a shooting star raced through the sky. When a man meets a woman of such rare grace, delicacy, and beauty, there is only one thing he can do: add her to his top 5. A man's top 5 says a lot about who he is, who he wants to be, and, most importantly, who he wants to bone.
5 Tips for Surviving a Trip to Atlantic City
In my world travels, I’ve seen shanty towns of such immense poverty that Mother Teresa would break down in tears. I mean even now, when she’s dead. I’ve seen landfills so vast they resembled oceans and toxic waste facilities so wretched that no mammal dared near. Not until this past weekend, however, could I have foreseen a place so destitute, so decrepit, that it would feature all three. And then I went to Atlantic City. Holy, and may I add, Moly! Mr. Dunbar dare never mention anything about Calcutta again with that cesspool only two hours away.
Getting Even Is Easy
In Timmy's first video blog, he gives tips on how to get back at your boss without getting caught.