21 Stupid, Funny, Wise-Ass Things Americans Would Do After Moving To Canada

    "Learn new swear words like 'ah jeez.'"

    Earlier today, these Twitter peeps started the #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada hashtag for Americans to chime in about they'd do when they get to Canada. It instantly started trending.

    (Because a lot of Americans recently have threatened to move across the border for reasons we won't get into right now.)

    Anywhoodles, the hashtag first had some sweet, earnest responses from Americans who've always wanted to visit Canada:

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I have to immediately go to Tim Hortons to have a donut or all of Canada will yell at me again.

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I'm going canoeing on the Chapleau River In Northern Ontario

    ...But then, of course, it derailed into ALL THE JOKES Americans have on their neighbours:

    Learn how to pronounce sorry #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

    (And revealing essentially everything they even know about Canada.)

    Smoke weed and chug maple syrup on my front porch #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

    Capture moose and milk them for maple syrup #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

    Watch Red Green to learn to solve problems the canadian way. #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada


    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada Buy a broom to fit in.


    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I will join the Canadian Navy.


    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada greet my new neighbors.


    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I'm gonna make a trap and get me some Canadian friends!


    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada Learn new swear words like "ah jeez"


    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada start a riot.

    OK, OK. We get itttttttt.

    I'll learn my ABC's and Zeds #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

    Yes, very funny.

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I'm Setting Up My New Phone Plan With Eh-T&T.

    We have bears.

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I will establish my dominance over the local wildlife.

    It is cold.

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada become a meteorologist. Seems easy enough. Two words

    ("Hey, get outta here, Mother Nature Network!")

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada 17 national parks! Each more beautiful than the other! https://t.co/Sy5psTNnAY

    OK'eh, THIS is a pretty fair point, we'll give you that:

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada, I'm changing "Maple Leafs" jerseys to "Maple Leaves" #grammar

    OK, so most of you may not actually move...

    A REMINDER, LIBERAL COWARDS. #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

    But there are some benefits, and things you can pick up, in Canada if you do ;-).

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada Figure out how to be a really nice person. I don't know what that's like.