21 Stupid, Funny, Wise-Ass Things Americans Would Do After Moving To Canada

    "Learn new swear words like 'ah jeez.'"

    Tanya Chen
    by Tanya Chen

    BuzzFeed Staff, Canada

    Earlier today, these Twitter peeps started the #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada hashtag for Americans to chime in about they'd do when they get to Canada. It instantly started trending.

    Twitter

    (Because a lot of Americans recently have threatened to move across the border for reasons we won't get into right now.)

    Mike Segar / Reuters

    Anywhoodles, the hashtag first had some sweet, earnest responses from Americans who've always wanted to visit Canada:

    Math Man @math_tagger

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I have to immediately go to Tim Hortons to have a donut or all of Canada will yell at me again.

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    Michael J. Smith @Road_2_Ft_Worth

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I'm going canoeing on the Chapleau River In Northern Ontario

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    ...But then, of course, it derailed into ALL THE JOKES Americans have on their neighbours:

    Aaron Weinbaum @aaronsayswhat1

    Learn how to pronounce sorry #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

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    (And revealing essentially everything they even know about Canada.)

    Christina Cola @poprocksandCola

    Smoke weed and chug maple syrup on my front porch #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

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    Aidan forgets why he @aidno

    Capture moose and milk them for maple syrup #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

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    The Doctor @Drstevenhobbs

    Watch Red Green to learn to solve problems the canadian way. #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

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    So...

    joel sabi @joelsabi

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada Buy a broom to fit in.

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    Many...

    Brandon Cloud @theclobra

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I will join the Canadian Navy.

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    Jokes...

    Regina Spacola @gigirules7

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada greet my new neighbors.

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    Hardy...

    Kimberly Osborne @KimmiOsborne

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I'm gonna make a trap and get me some Canadian friends!

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    Har...

    Bravo Golf Lima @Benjamin_G_Lund

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada Learn new swear words like "ah jeez"

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    Har.

    Carlos Marquez @Dr_C_LOS

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada start a riot.

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    OK, OK. We get itttttttt.

    Jeff Dwoskin @bigmacher

    I'll learn my ABC's and Zeds #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

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    Yes, very funny.

    CK @charley_ck14

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I'm Setting Up My New Phone Plan With Eh-T&T.

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    We have bears.

    The Gnurb @batshake1

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I will establish my dominance over the local wildlife.

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    It is cold.

    View from my Office @viewfrommyoffic

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada become a meteorologist. Seems easy enough. Two words

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    ("Hey, get outta here, Mother Nature Network!")

    MotherNatureNetwork @MotherNatureNet

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada 17 national parks! Each more beautiful than the other! https://t.co/Sy5psTNnAY

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    OK'eh, THIS is a pretty fair point, we'll give you that:

    lancegould @lancegould

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada, I'm changing "Maple Leafs" jerseys to "Maple Leaves" #grammar

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    OK, so most of you may not actually move...

    Hari Kondabolu @harikondabolu

    A REMINDER, LIBERAL COWARDS. #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

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    But there are some benefits, and things you can pick up, in Canada if you do ;-).

    Bravo Golf Lima @Benjamin_G_Lund

    #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada Figure out how to be a really nice person. I don't know what that's like.

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