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21 Stupid, Funny, Wise-Ass Things Americans Would Do After Moving To Canada

"Learn new swear words like 'ah jeez.'"

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Earlier today, these Twitter peeps started the #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada hashtag for Americans to chime in about they'd do when they get to Canada. It instantly started trending.


(Because a lot of Americans recently have threatened to move across the border for reasons we won't get into right now.)

Mike Segar / Reuters

Anywhoodles, the hashtag first had some sweet, earnest responses from Americans who've always wanted to visit Canada:

#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I have to immediately go to Tim Hortons to have a donut or all of Canada will yell at me again.

#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I'm going canoeing on the Chapleau River In Northern Ontario

...But then, of course, it derailed into ALL THE JOKES Americans have on their neighbours:

Learn how to pronounce sorry #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

(And revealing essentially everything they even know about Canada.)

Smoke weed and chug maple syrup on my front porch #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

Capture moose and milk them for maple syrup #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

Watch Red Green to learn to solve problems the canadian way. #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada


#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada Buy a broom to fit in.


#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I will join the Canadian Navy.


#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada greet my new neighbors.


#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I'm gonna make a trap and get me some Canadian friends!


#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada Learn new swear words like "ah jeez"


#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada start a riot.

OK, OK. We get itttttttt.

I'll learn my ABC's and Zeds #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

Yes, very funny.

#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I'm Setting Up My New Phone Plan With Eh-T&T.

We have bears.

#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada I will establish my dominance over the local wildlife.

It is cold.

#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada become a meteorologist. Seems easy enough. Two words

("Hey, get outta here, Mother Nature Network!")

#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada 17 national parks! Each more beautiful than the other!

OK'eh, THIS is a pretty fair point, we'll give you that:

#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada, I'm changing "Maple Leafs" jerseys to "Maple Leaves" #grammar

OK, so most of you may not actually move...

A REMINDER, LIBERAL COWARDS. #FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada

But there are some benefits, and things you can pick up, in Canada if you do ;-).

#FirstThingAfterMovingToCanada Figure out how to be a really nice person. I don't know what that's like.