What Your Favourite Goon Brand Says About You
You drink Sovereign for one reason only. To get completely, 100% wasted. Like so black out drunk that if someone asked you for your name, you wouldn't even remember.
You're first or second year uni - after all Golden Oak is as much of a staple to students as books and pens. You spend your Wednesday night sipping out of this bad boy and your Thursday crying into your bowl of Mi Goreng, regretting all your life choices. Yet two days later you find yourself lured to the silver sack again - you can't miss out after all.
Wherever you went probably just sold out of Golden Oak. Or perhaps Coolabah’s on sale. You’re not good at making decisions, because why would you be drinking this otherwise? Mainly because you just DGAF.
You’re a little naive, but it’s not a bad thing - you just want to see the best in people. Just like you thought "oh wow, Sunnyvale is a nice name for goon, I wonder if it tastes better?" It’s cute for now, but one day you’ll grow to be sour. Just like your drink.
You’re someone who always keeps an eye out for something a little bit bigger and better, while predominately staying in your comfort zone. Stanley greets you like a long-lost, slightly improved friend. Old Stan will still screw you around somehow, but at least you will feel slightly classier. At the time anyway.
The only reason you'd be drinking this was if your teenager left the leftovers in the fridge. You're easily fooled by the nice presentation of the box and the fact it states "low alcohol." That's very cute.
You are one classy and cultured individual - but still not as upper-class as you wish to be. You screw your nose up at the Golden Oak drinkers, and vehemently deny you’re a goon drinker… You’re drinking sem sav after all! Still out of a silver sack mate. You are one of us.
You're on monthly pay, and it's a week before pay day. You grab this to make a "punch". It's just goon and juice. But whatever makes you feel better in your desperate bid to remain ~youthful~.