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I've never felt more single.
As it turns out, they've had some flirtation on Instagram. And as it also turns out, it looks like we've got our first love triangle situation of the show, and we're barely an hour in!
Another Sophie reject, Mac, enters paradise, sans his guitar. Straight away he zooms in on Leah. "I see Leah straight away, she was wearing a bikini top and a sarong," he tells the camera, while Leah stands by the pool in a white playsuit. OK Mac.
Douchey Blake (not Garvey, but other douche Blake from last season) makes his grand entrance in what looks like kids pyjamas. He's ready to stop being a douche in Perth, and bless Fiji with his overall douchiness. You may remember Blake as the guy from Sophie's season that had his abs contoured on, and who also made home visits, but was massively douchey when he was eliminated.
Jake Ellis from Georgia Love's season appears. Already his story arc seems to be "nice guy turned fuckboi", so this should be interesting to watch. I've seen his thirsty Instagram pimping himself out for ladies nights. I know his game.
As it turns out Flo and Jake have a history. “People talk on Instagram and you get smashed and things happen,” Flo tells the camera. I guess that's what the life of attractive people is like anyway. The only DM slides I get is from my BFF sending me LADbible memes.
His heart says Flo, but he's cottoned on to the fact Flo and Jake have history, so he doesn't want to be THAT dude. So instead he does a 180 and chooses Leah. Big mistake. Huge!
Watching Davey and Leah is like watching two people who were popular in high school and could never quite let go of that feeling interact. They flirt with about as much emotional maturity as two 16-year-olds drinking Passion Pop for the first time.
Meanwhile dateless Flo is pissed off at Davey's decision. Flo, hon, you are a beautiful goddess but good lord, you have terrible taste in men.
Davey and Leah make out with as much passion and enthusiasm as I feel when I accidentally see a photo of an ex-boyfriend. So... zero.
“I live on the Gold Coast and everyone has been there,” she says. "Everyone has a Jake Ellis story."
Damn.
Jake reckons all the stories about him being a manwhore are absolute rubbish. Stay tuned for his album Reputation: The Jake Ellis Version, dropping as soon as he leaves paradise.
Flo and Jake then passively-aggressively fight about whether he could go take a bathroom break in the middle of their argument. It's like they've already been stuck together for three years, the passion has died out, they've stopped having sex, and for some reason are holding on to make each other miserable.
“I’ve got such bad taste in men, it’s actually funny," Flo tells Lisa. Flo, I relate to this on a spiritual level.
I, too, would like to rub Luke’s belly for good luck.
“It’s day two and already we have more drama than High School Musical," Eden tells the camera. We clearly didn't see enough of this dude last year.
“I love Jarrod, but it’s too sensitive for him right now I think” Keira tells Osher, after seeing Jarrod standing by himself on the sand island that he took Sophie to last year. He hasn't moved since then. Poor Jarrod.
Women love when a grown-ass man does this!!!
Davey is busy apologising to Flo and saying he fucked up, when Jake comes over, and mumbles through his teeth, "wannagoonadatewithme". Flo agrees to go on a date with him much to Davey's obvious disappointment and dun dunnnnn... we have to wait until the next episode to see what happens next!
See ya tomorrow!