27 Things People Do On The Internet

Thanks to social media, now we can all be True Detectives.

1. Be an active and willing participant in “photo fraud”:

“I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.”

― Tina Fey

2. Disregard Destiny’s Child’s advice and say passive aggressive things on the Internet:

Columbia Records

Columbia Records


For further reference, please read What Is A Subtweet?

3. …things you would never dare say to another human (or dog for that matter) in real life:

4. But good thing there is still a way to express tone and throw subtle shade on the Internet:




For more on this, please reference The 42 Ways To Type Laughter, Defined


6. Stage a “having a good time” picture solely for the purpose of sharing it on social media:

“Love my girls!!!” -Someone who hates these girls

7. Draft, delete, and redraft a GChat message to someone you are crushing on:

Columbia / Via giphy.com

Just CTRL + ALT + DLT your emotions, over-thinker.

8. Try with all your power to make sure you don’t like a 40 week old picture of someone you are stalking on Instagram:

Instagram lurking is an art from. Gotta make sure you have a steady hand so you don't double tap.

— Melanie LaBeija (@LeaveItUp2Mel)

9. Completely fall head over heels in love with a complete stranger:

Warner Bros. Television / Via 90sbiitch.tumblr.com

“OMG, look he’s on vacation!” -Stalker (you)
“OMG, look at his body!” -Stalker (you)
“OMG, his girlfriend isn’t even that cute” - Stalker (you)

10. Accidentally divulge information you know about someone that you exclusively learned on the Internet by stalking them:

NBCUniversal Television


11. Believe that wishing someone from high school a “Happy Birthday” is the good deed that will somehow get you into heaven:

13. Seek attention:

14. Share think-pieces and articles that you only 40% understand so people will think you are intelligent and well informed:

NBCUniversal Television / Via creepingcreep.tumblr.com
NBCUniversal Television / Via creepingcreep.tumblr.com

15. But inevitably, something will go wrong:

16. Scream an expletive at the screen every time another person on your Facebook feed gets engaged, married, posts a picture of their child, their perfect life etc.

Demand a Plan PSA


17. AKA compare your life to others:

NBCUniversal Television / Via strawberriesandlentils.tumblr.com

18. “Like” and “Fav” flirt:

19. Only half pay attention to the people around you because you are too busy live-tweeting the things they are saying:

NBCUniversal Television

20. Talk shit about something that somebody tweeted to someone else. And then be victim of this same shit-talking:


21. Immediately notify your friend if their ex has noteworthy activity/pictures on social media:

22. Which goes hand in hand with constantly lurking on ex’s Facebook profiles:

23. Avoid your parents on social media like the plague:

20th Century Fox Television

24. Have Internet friends that you’ve never met in real life:

25. Type out your true thoughts and inner-most feelings in any available text box and then delete it:

26. Send a [INSERT BODY PART HERE] pic to someone:

NBC Universal / Via iampapito21.tumblr.com

27. Lose touch with humanity:

Welcome to the World Wide Web

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