27 Things People Do On The Internet

    Thanks to social media, now we can all be True Detectives.

    1. Be an active and willing participant in "photo fraud":

    2. Disregard Destiny's Child's advice and say passive aggressive things on the Internet:

    For further reference, please read What Is A Subtweet?

    3. ...things you would never dare say to another human (or dog for that matter) in real life:

    4. But good thing there is still a way to express tone and throw subtle shade on the Internet:

    For more on this, please reference The 42 Ways To Type Laughter, Defined


    "For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction." - Newton's law of the Internet

    6. Stage a "having a good time" picture solely for the purpose of sharing it on social media:

    7. Draft, delete, and redraft a GChat message to someone you are crushing on:

    8. Try with all your power to make sure you don't like a 40 week old picture of someone you are stalking on Instagram:

    Instagram lurking is an art from. Gotta make sure you have a steady hand so you don't double tap.

    9. Completely fall head over heels in love with a complete stranger:

    10. Accidentally divulge information you know about someone that you exclusively learned on the Internet by stalking them:

    11. Believe that wishing someone from high school a "Happy Birthday" is the good deed that will somehow get you into heaven:

    12. Overshare:

    13. Seek attention:

    14. Share think-pieces and articles that you only 40% understand so people will think you are intelligent and well informed:

    15. But inevitably, something will go wrong:

    16. Scream an expletive at the screen every time another person on your Facebook feed gets engaged, married, posts a picture of their child, their perfect life etc.

    17. AKA compare your life to others:

    18. "Like" and "Fav" flirt:

    19. Only half pay attention to the people around you because you are too busy live-tweeting the things they are saying:

    20. Talk shit about something that somebody tweeted to someone else. And then be victim of this same shit-talking:

    21. Immediately notify your friend if their ex has noteworthy activity/pictures on social media:

    22. Which goes hand in hand with constantly lurking on ex's Facebook profiles:

    23. Avoid your parents on social media like the plague:

    24. Have Internet friends that you've never met in real life:

    25. Type out your true thoughts and inner-most feelings in any available text box and then delete it:

    26. Send a [INSERT BODY PART HERE] pic to someone:

    27. Lose touch with humanity:

    Welcome to the World Wide Web