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Not To Sound Crazy, But I Have A Conspiracy Theory About The New Bachelor's "Gray Hair"

That's why his hair's so gray. It's full of secrets...

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As many of you know, this man is Arie Luyendyk Jr., aka the title role on the 22nd season of ABC's The Bachelor.

ABC

Clearly, Arie has gray hair. And according to People, he is "just embracing it!"

People

Now I don't want anyone to think I have a problem with gray-haired men, because I absolutely DO NOT.

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Examples of silver foxes I would gladly doink: George Clooney, Barack Obama, Matt Leblanc now, McDreamy (as pictured above, clearly advertising some sort of sweepstakes to eat lunch with him that I definitely did NOT enter), McSteamy, etc. So don't @ me in the comments!!!

What I am suspicious of, though, is the authenticity of Arie's salt-and-pepper locks.

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THAT'S RIGHT. I believe that Arie Luyendyk Jr. has GUYLIGHTS.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUN.
ABC

DUN DUN DUUUUUUN.

Why do I think this, you ask? Let's examine the evidence.

ABC / Via giphy.com

EXHIBIT A: the show's "diversity."

How will the Bachelor ever choose which Blonde Ombre Woman to make his wIFE?????

A lot of fans weren't exactly thrilled with Arie as the new bachelor. Sure, there's nothing WRONG with him, but after Rachel Lindsay made history last season as the show's first person of color bachelorette, it seems regressive to go back to featuring a cis, white male and a predominantly white cast. Something needed to be done to make Arie different, so naturally, someone was like, "GIVE HIM GRAY GUYLIGHTS!!!"

EXHIBIT B: the age-difference drama.

There's this one contestant, Bekah M., whose age was ~mysteriously~ left off her contestant bio.
ABC

There's this one contestant, Bekah M., whose age was ~mysteriously~ left off her contestant bio.

*Takes out laser pointer*

ABC

Here, the other Becca's age is clearly on display. Then where TF is Bekah M.'s?!

Could Arie's gray guylights just be visually emphasizing their 14-year age difference and creating more ~drama~ for press and viewers?! Hmm...

(FYI, Bekah M.'s age was later proven to be 22.)

And lastly...

EXHIBIT C: his eyebrows.

They're fucking brown.
ABC

They're fucking brown.

But more than anything else, Arie Ljjyukkdykk Jr. def has guylights, because he just looks like the kind of guy who would have guylights. THE END.

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So what do you think?

  1. Do you believe that Arie has guylights?

    Do you believe that Arie has guylights?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Arie definitely has guylights.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    No, Arie's hair is completely and naturally gray.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Is Bekah M. ACTUALLY 22 tho?!
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Do you believe that Arie has guylights?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Arie definitely has guylights.
  2.  
    vote votes
    No, Arie's hair is completely and naturally gray.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Is Bekah M. ACTUALLY 22 tho?!

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