1. This subtle *wink wink* negotiator:
2. Just, this:
I present to you a real, actual resume my office has received
3. This hypothetical applicant who just might be Groot:
4. This little pony who graduated with highest honors:
5. This résumé from Eric, who promises to "bring your company to new heights, or whatever":
6. This generally nefarious dude:
7. This guy who's still waiting to hear if he made it into NSYNC:
8. Nice, dooooood:
9. Who needs a résumé when you've got these FACTS?!?!?!?!
10. GIVE. 👏 JOB. 👏 PLS. 👏
11. This guy with a degree in creative writing and too much time on his hands:
12. This applicant whose hobbies include donating her hair to charity one time:
13. This ~most awesome~ résumé:
14. This person whose references were unavailable "BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL BURNED UP IN A FIRE":
15. And finally Vanessa, who I sincerely hope gets hired on the spot:
