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Don't Read This If You're Afraid Of Getting Caught In The Tom Hanks Thirst Trap

WARNING: Thirst trap ahead. Continue at your own risk.

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This is Tom Hanks. He's been called America's dad, the best actor of his generation, and simply, "a good guy."

Lars Niki

But I'm here today to tell you that he is also something else: A CERTIFIED ORGANIC CHUNK OF HUUUUUUUNK!

20th Century Fox

And I don't care if you're a man, woman, non-binary, gay, straight, what have you — Tom Hanks is your celebrity crush now.

Tom Hanks has aged like the expensive cheese people put out at fancy parties that you eat waaaaaayyyy too much of but you can't fucking stop.

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

I mean...

Emma Mcintyre / Getty Images

A little salt and pepper only adds more flava. Just sayin'.

20th Century Fox

Not that he was lacking flava to begin with...

Buena Vista Pictures

👀 👀 👀

Buena Vista Pictures

But aside from his good looks, Tom here has a lot else to offer.

Dimitrios Kambouris

He writes books!

Get Uncommon Type, his collection of short stories, here!
Jeff Spicer / Getty Images

Get Uncommon Type, his collection of short stories, here!

And look how proud of it he is! PRESH!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!!!!!!!!
Jeff Spicer / Getty Images

EEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!!!!!!!!

He's a goddamn Medal of Freedom recipient!!!

Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images

He made Halloween and SNL relevant again!!!

NBC

He takes the time to engage with the youth culture!

"Like, how would you feel if I sang my name at the beginning of all my movies?"
Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images

"Like, how would you feel if I sang my name at the beginning of all my movies?"

HE LOVES AND SUPPORTS HIS WIFE SO MUCH! IT'S BEAUTIFUL BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT HURTS ME SO!!!

What a babe! What a record! Favorite track? “Just Say Yes”. Hanx @ritawilson https://t.co/JQMdJMWBlO

THIS. Everything about this.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

He has a really great Instagram where he essentially just takes pictures of lost items in random places.

instagram.com

And his Twitter is nothing but wondrous, wondrous dad jokes.

Does this shadow make me look fat? Hanx

~Hanx~

Came to a lost fork in the sea, so I took it. Hanx

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TOM HANKS YET?!?!?!?!?!?!

Paramount Pictures / Via giphy.com

Oh ALSO, Tom Hanks is such a fucking perfect man that some satirist actually wrote this headline, almost sending me straight into cardiac arrest:

In conclusion, Tom Hanks is the only man worthy to be any of our celeb crushes, and that is FINAL.

20th Century Fox

FINAL.

ABC / Via giphy.com
  1. Is Tom Hanks your celeb crush now?!

    Is Tom Hanks your celeb crush now?!
    Correct
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    Abso-fuckin'-lutely!!!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    He was always my celeb crush, duh.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.
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    WILSOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
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Is Tom Hanks your celeb crush now?!
  1.  
    vote votes
    Abso-fuckin'-lutely!!!
  2.  
    vote votes
    He was always my celeb crush, duh.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.
  4.  
    vote votes
    WILSOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
  5.  
    vote votes
    No.

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