1. When you ask yourself the tough questions:
2. When you try to seem chill on a date:
[first date] me: So, do you like street magic? her: Not really me: [releases 7 doves under table] Haha yeah me either
3. When you start to develop feelings for someone:
me realizing i have a crush on someone
4. When you realize you're def not Rihanna:
sometimes I get sad cus I'm single then I remember Rihanna is single n I get happy then I remember Rihanna is wealthy n I get sad again
5. When you realize you're actually insufferable:
him: your single? why? me: you're*
6. When you don't get a text back:
Me: He didn't text back, he was probably just tired from work Inner me: Text him "have a good life"
7. When your ego takes a massive hit:
Probs the worst is when someone dates you & then gets back with their ex cause they tried something new but the old shitty option was better
8. When you wonder why you're still single:
[1st date] me: are you cold? date: *shivering* a little me: *putting second hoody on* that sucks
9. When dating has you super anxious:
anxiety got me approaching relationships like
10. When even your candy is reminding you you're single:
when you realize candy has a better love life than you
11. When you realize you're a hypocrite:
me: i'm so lonely person: hey me: leave me alone
12. When you hate going to weddings:
Gather 'round you single losers so I can throw my used flowers at you -Brides
13. When you can't listen to a playlist without getting sad:
THE GHOSTS OF YOUR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS ARE SPEAKING TO YOU THROUGH ITUNES SHUFFLE
14. When you know your own worth:
When people ask why I'm single
15. When you're faced with the hard truths:
Me: "Why am I single?" God:
16. When you keep falling for the wrong people:
In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people.
17. When your parents have given up hope:
ME: If we get nuked I hope my cats live. They can eat my corpse for sustenance. I'd be fine with that. DAD: So you're still single
18. When you try to use Tinder:
pictured: every single tinder date I've ever been on
19. When your friends try to help:
ME: im sick of being single FRIEND: want me to set u up with someone? ME: absolutely not, i'd have to put on pants & talk. no thank u
20. When everyone else seems to be settling down:
when everyone i've ever dated has had a baby will someone please get me a nice present
21. When your family tries to comfort you:
I love when your family friends are always like "oh sweetie you're gonna break some hearts one day" like yea Aunt Kathy my own, 15 times.
22. When you realize you have nothing to worry about:
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant
23. When you have to play it cool:
just deleted one "ha" from my "hahaha" text to my crush because I was like "no, he hasn't earned it"
24. When you're sick of trying to meet people:
The worst part of being single is that at some point you are going to have to get to know another person
25. When you know you're probs a lost cause:
I'm single but sometimes I look in the mirror and practice telling my mom that I'm getting a divorce.
26. When even your dog rejects you:
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
27. When you have no fucks left to give:
when the fuccbois can't even faze you no more
28. When you try to convince yourself there's still a chance:
*still no response to text 3 years later* wow he's so busy
29. And finally, when you realize it's almost fall:
fall is the perfect time to date someone like it’s chilly so u both get bundled up & watch movies and go for coffee dates omg i'm so lonely