15 Public Sex Horror Stories Guaranteed To Make You Cringe And Laugh
1. This hiker's nightmare:
"One day my friend with benefits and I decided to burn one down on a nature walk and get busy. As we rounded the bases and things got heavy, he went to fully take off his pants and tripped over himself, right over the ledge of a small cliff. I had to take him to the hospital, but luckily he was totally fine."
2. This trick shot:
"My college boyfriend and I made it a goal to fuck on every floor in our dorm building. There was a common area in the basement, so one weeknight at around 3 a.m. we decided to fuck on the pool table. However, the night janitor, who was luckily wearing headphones, walked in. He was facing backwards, turned around, and saw us, with my ass in the air, getting fucked from behind. He simply put his head back down and walked out."
3. This late-night snack:
"The guy I was seeing was in town for work but had to share a hotel room with coworkers. We were swimming late and decided to go into the pool bathroom to have sex. We were really going at it in a stall when a cop peeked his head over the door. Apparently that area is known for prostitution, and someone called the cops thinking I was a hooker. We had to answer all kinds of questions to prove we actually knew each other."
4. This musical melody:
"I was in Australia and was having sex on a beach with a British boy I met earlier that day. We were almost done when this group of partiers came upon us. Instead of leaving us to finish up, they played 'I Just Had Sex' by The Lonely Island on a speaker while standing 10 feet away, watching us scramble to find our clothes. Safe to say that neither of us finished."
—Mykala Moody, Facebook
"My friend and I snuck into a park to drink. One night, we thought we heard clapping coming from the soccer field, so we investigated. It was really dark, but after our eyes adjusted we saw some guy kneeling inside one of the goal posts, with his bare ass thrusting away. By the extra pair of feet and the clapping sound, we quickly surmised what was actually taking place. After a good chuckle, my friend drew a huge breath and yelled 'Goooooaaaaaallll!!!!' They unflinchingly kept at it and, without turning, the guy raised a single fist into the air to show us his approval."
—K De Leon, Facebook
6. This A+ lie:
"My boyfriend and I would hang out in the parking lot near the baseball fields after class. One day a woman saw my lone parked car and thought it was suspicious, so she called the police. We saw the cop as he started heading into the parking lot, so we rushed to get dressed. We were at a loss at how to explain what we were doing, so I grabbed my math book and burst into fake tears (thank you, drama club). I told the cop I was falling behind in math and my parents were strict about my grades. I told him we were studying in secret so no one would tell my parents I was failing. I don't know if he felt sorry or was just impressed with the story, but he let us go."
7. This religious persecution:
"I was bottoming for a guy in a church parking lot, and we were spotted by one of the pastors who was walking by. It was the most awkward moment of my life, but we still ended up finishing in his car in the church parking lot."
8. This tour de pants:
"My ex and I would frequently take walks in the forest. There were many paths, so we would go off and make out. One time we decided to do much more than that, and a group of five cyclists rode by us. They playfully shouted to us, but we freaked out and quickly got dressed and left. We saw them at the end of a trail later on and they cheered us on once more."
9. This interesting picnic:
"My boyfriend and I were having a romantic picnic on the beach. It was generally an uncrowded beach, and at the time we were the only people there. We decided to have sex. A few minutes later, we saw some young teens in the distance, so we quickly repositioned ourselves. My anxiety increased as they approached us, but alas, they seemed oblivious and simply asked us, 'Do you guys have any weed?'"
10. This unwanted butt-dial:
"My ex and I were having car sex in the parking lot of our college and accidentally butt-dialed his very conservative mom's home phone. Apparently we left a rather lengthy voicemail of our tryst. We had to drive the 45 minutes to her house to delete the message before she got to it... but we were too late."
11. This grand experience:
"My boyfriend and I were having sex in a hammock at the Grand Canyon. We thought we were being sneaky about it until we realized the trees were bouncing. Pretty sure I ruined a family's trip to one of the greatest wonders of the world."
12. This green nut:
"My girlfriend was meeting my parents for the first time. After a while, my parents left us alone and we started watching Shrek. One thing led to another, and she decided to go down on me while my parents were downstairs. It was all going fine until I heard my dad coming up the stairs. I threw a blanket over my lap, since I was naked from the waist down. He just checked up on us and then went left, so my girlfriend and I proceeded. I orgasmed at almost the exact moment 'I'm a Believer' started playing."
13. This unexpected twist:
"My college fuck buddy and I decided to hook up in his car because neither of our rooms were free. The parking lot was basically empty and it was getting particularly hot and steamy, when we suddenly heard a slapping sound. It was so confusing because the sound wasn't coming from us. We pulled apart to look around and saw a random girl directly next to the car jumping rope. She was just minding her own business, and then suddenly she turned and saw the two of us, naked, staring at her. She turned bright red and ran away."
14. This roommate trouble:
"My friend and I were lying in bed in my dorm. My roommate walked in and quickly fell asleep. About 30 minutes later, my friend and I started feeling each other up and brought each other to orgasm, but we tried to keep it as quiet as possible, since my roommate was still asleep. While we were hooking up, I glanced over to check on my roommate and saw her staring at us with a confused, horrified look on her face. It was so awkward."
15. And this holy orgasm:
"My fiancée once slept with a preacher's daughter. One time, they decided to have sex in the balcony of the church...while her father was preaching a sermon on Sunday morning. She came right as her father finished preaching and screamed 'Oh, god!' Someone in the audience responded with 'Hallelujah!'"
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.