We asked the BuzzFeed Community for the worst thing to happen to them at an orgy. The responses were so funny and cringeworthy that I turned them into a "Would You Rather" game. Good luck...
The birthday surprise:
“It was my 38th birthday and my friends and I took a bartender home. Things got hot, and the dude said he liked getting his ass eaten out. My friend Denise wasn’t having it, but this guy was 100% grade-A beef, so I agreed. He was on his back, and Denise was sitting on his face, so I started working from his balls to his backdoor. As I went to town, he suddenly sharted in my mouth. I immediately sterilized my mouth with a bottle of vodka and left. I haven’t seen any of them since.”
The bloody mess:
“It was the first orgy for my friends and me, so we kept the lights off. It was really hot, and I remember thinking how incredibly wet I was, but it wasn’t until afterward when we turned on the lights that I realized I started my period midway through and it went EVERYWHERE. It looked like a scene from a horror film. Not only were we all covered in my period blood, but it had soaked into the mattress and stained the sheets. I was so embarrassed that I put on my clothes in silence and left.”
The good deed gone wrong:
“I dropped into my friend’s house to give her a birthday cake I spent all day making, and I saw my best friends having an orgy. I was so sad ‘cause I was apparently the only one not invited. They said I could join in if I wanted, but you could tell no one really wanted me to, so I left them the cake and went to the cinema by myself instead.”
The lost and found:
“I lost my glasses in the middle of my first orgy. I was a bit overwhelmed, so I left the room. Then I had to wait, naked, for everyone to finish up so I could go back in and search for my glasses.”
—Becky Lynn Smith, Facebook
The numbing surprise:
“Two words: numbing cream. One of the dudes at the sex party put desensitizing cream on his junk so he wouldn’t come too quickly. Turns out it also numbs the person’s mouth if they blow them. It felt like I had just left the dentist’s office.”
The naked pretzel:
“While at a sex party, a man challenged me that he could make me orgasm, even though it routinely takes me a long time. But he was committed, and I was trying. My eyes were closed, and I was sooooooo close, but all of a sudden I heard a noise. I opened my eyes, and this random dude was lying next to me, watching, while munching on pretzels.”
The Jason sandwich:
“I went to an 18-plus club and met a few guys. We all went back to my place and then started fooling around. It started out fun for all of us, but we started to push the fourth guy away because we weren’t as into him. He got really upset, jerked himself off, and interrupted the rest of us to make a 'Jason Sandwich.' I’m Jason.”
The 911 emergency:
“I was at an orgy where a guy in his twenties had a heart attack. He took Viagra before the party and then he had some poppers mid-coitus. Apparently the mix of the two caused him to go into cardiac arrest. An ambulance was called, and they luckily saved him. Ruined the mood for everybody else though.”
—Zachary Newman, Facebook
The threesome gone wrong:
“I had a threesome in high school. The girl who wasn’t part of the couple got pregnant…with twins.”
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