1.In The Parent Trap, when I started crushing HARD on Meredith Blake, but then Nick Parker also came into the picture, and I thought, "Wait a minute. Do I have unresolved daddy issues?"
2.In Batman and Robin, when Chris O'Donnell wore that bulging suit with nipples on it, and his lips were SO glossy and glowing during that spicy kiss with Uma Thurman.
3.In John Tucker Must Die, when Sophia Bush gave Brittany Snow a kissing lesson in the car, but more importantly, when Jesse Metcalfe was tricked into wearing that lacy thong.
4.In Boy Meets World, when Jack toxically bragged about having 6% body fat and then offered to show everyone his abs, I had an ethereal, guttural reaction that changed my life forever.
5.And don't forget about that time he and Rachel had their first steamy make-out session on the couch and she towered over him and their mouths looked like they were basically eating each other and I loved every second of it while also wondering, "Am I really supposed to open up THAT wide while kissing someone?!"
6.In Spy Kids, when Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino were so freaking horny for each other the entire time...and in those tight outfits, no less. They bring new meaning to the words "mommy and daddy."
7.In Bring It On, when Gabrielle Union cheered her way right into my heart, and all the male cheerleaders made me question everything.
8.In Even Stevens, when society told me I should have a crush on Ren, and I did, but then Donnie and his friend Jason suddenly appeared, and I couldn't decide who I wanted more.
9.In X2: X-Men United, when Shawn Ashmore blew on Hugh Jackman's soda bottle to cool it up, and I immediately thought of something else he could blow too.
10.In Two of a Kind, when I was soooo jealous of Mary-Kate for having Carey as a babysitter AND Taylor as a math tutor, and I wanted nothing more than to be put in time-out by both of them.
11.In 13 Going on 30, when Jenna and Matty showed each other their Razzle-red tongues and I immediately fell for them and their ridiculous onscreen chemistry.
12.In Smallville, when grown-adult Tom Welling played 14-year-old Clark Kent and I drooled a little bit every time his shirt came off.
13.In The Lizzie McGuire Movie, when Kate and Ethan bonded over a plate of spaghetti in Rome and I wanted to Lady and the Tramp-style the pasta with both of them at the same time.
14.In Family Matters, when I was fighting for my life between which Winslow sibling I wanted to date more — Laura had the style and brains, but Eddie had the muscles.
15.In Legally Blonde, when Elle talked about those four amazing hours she spent in the hot tub with Warner after Winter Formal, so ~I~ started thinking about spending four amazing hours in the hot tub with Warner.
16.In 7th Heaven, when Jessica Biel said, "No thanks. I don't smoke," and the D.A.R.E. kid in me had never seen anything hotter...until Barry Watson and David Gallagher walked on the set.
17.In Motocrossed, when my apparently bi king Dean was 100% crushing on Andrea ~even though he thought she was a guy~, and I wanted to join both of them in that hot, sweaty lake.
18.In the TV movie version of Cinderella, when Brandy and Paolo Montalban's chemistry was SO electric that I wanted to ask a fairy godmother to make me their third.
19.In Full House, when I would have k*lled for Uncle Jesse to sing the "Teddy Bear" song to me in bed...and then I would have asked him to hop right in with me.
20.In The Mummy, when Rachel Weisz and Brendan Fraser looked like THAT in every single scene and my heart skipped several beats.
Like???????? Look at them!!!!!!!!
21.In Sister, Sister, when Tyreke was introduced as a mechanic before ultimately dating Tia and I desperately wanted to get all oily and greasy with him.
22.In Alley Cats Strike, when 10-year-old me was convinced that bowling had never looked hotter, and I wanted to 7–10 split Kyle Schmid in half. And Robert Ri'Chard. And Kaley Cuoco.
23.And finally, in The Santa Clause, literally every single time Bernard appeared on the screen. (Don't judge me!!!!)
There are too many queer sexual awakenings to count, so feel free to share your own in the comments below!
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