1. Because coffee shops have got completely out of control.
Dalstonist / Via dalstonist.co.uk
2. And they can't even be bothered to be nice to their customers any more.
Via Twitter: @smeg__
3. In fact, they're genuinely just telling them to fuck off now.
Sophie Gadd/BuzzFeed
4. People on the tube can't be nice to each other either.
@kflorish
Some actual shitlark decided to give these business cards out. Fire them into the sun.
5. In fact, Londoners don't have a clue how to commute any more.
standard.co.uk / Via facebook.com
WTF ARE YOU DOING?
6. They've converted all the toilets into artisan gin bars.
7. And the shithole carparks have become cocktail bars.
8. Dalston people have totally ruined the holy name of box wine.
Dalstonist / Via dalstonist.co.uk
9. And a bloody water-only bar opened.
metro.co.uk / Via Facebook: rnli
It was for charity, at least.
10. Then some terrible entrepreneurs bastardised the word pub to crowdfund Brew, a pub that serves only tea.
Brew
Someone actually donated £16,360 to it.
11. Because Londoners can't drink any more without it taking place in some sort of novelty pseudo Disneyland.
Via dalstonist.co.uk
JUST HAVE A FUCKING PINT.
12. Yes, Londoners have completely lost the plot with regards to what is considered a fun activity.
Via londonist.com
Going to a rave BEFORE WORK to drink smoothies. OK.
13. And of course you can now go to a morning rave in the Cereal Killer Café...
Via standard.co.uk
14. Which is made even worse by the book featuring this list of "witty comebacks".
Get In The Sea / Via Facebook: getinthesea
15. An indoor ballpit for adults opened.
Pearlfisher / Via pearlfisher.com
TBF it did look fun.
16. But at least it didn't get cancelled like the "epic Slip & Slide".
Facebook: events / Via metro.co.uk
Was it ever going to happen in the first place?
17. A gallery of selfies is set to open in Shoreditch.
Via dalstonist.co.uk
SHUT IT DOWN BEFORE IT CAN LIVE.
18. And a museum opened that was meant to be about East End women but ended up being about Jack the Ripper.
Glenn Copus/Evening Standard / Via standard.co.uk
Nice one.
