3. In the weeks prior to St. Patrick’s Day, you can’t get away from these stands in nearly every store:
To help you better celebrate the Feast of St. Patrick the way your Catholic forbears did.
4. And try though you may, you don’t remember the part in the St. Patrick legend where he cast the snakes out of Ireland wearing a feather boa and sparkly green top hat:
That sounds more like your coworker, Patrick, who goes to raves every weekend and is always asking the whereabouts of Molly.
6. Every time you see something like this, a small part of you dies.
7. With any luck, you’ll get through a year without being constantly reminded of how lucky you’re supposed to be.
9. You don’t know a single person that prefers green Bud Light to Guinness.
16. March 17th isn’t “Doesn’t Count As Alcoholism” Day.
This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!
- "Welcome to the movement": Women's March on Washington organizers are working tirelessly to make sure 1st-time marchers stick around ✊
- Nope, President Donald Trump will not release his tax returns after an IRS audit, the White House says, despite pledging to do so.
- Kellyanne Conway says White House press sec. Sean Spicer didn't lie about crowd size at Trump's inauguration. He gave "alternative facts."
- Aziz Ansari has made history as the first South Asian to host 'SNL.' In his monologue, he called Trump "the Chris Brown of politics."