3. In the weeks prior to St. Patrick’s Day, you can’t get away from these stands in nearly every store:
To help you better celebrate the Feast of St. Patrick the way your Catholic forbears did.
4. And try though you may, you don’t remember the part in the St. Patrick legend where he cast the snakes out of Ireland wearing a feather boa and sparkly green top hat:
That sounds more like your coworker, Patrick, who goes to raves every weekend and is always asking the whereabouts of Molly.
6. Every time you see something like this, a small part of you dies.
7. With any luck, you’ll get through a year without being constantly reminded of how lucky you’re supposed to be.
9. You don’t know a single person that prefers green Bud Light to Guinness.
16. March 17th isn’t “Doesn’t Count As Alcoholism” Day.
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