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21 Things Waiters Dread
Throw an extra buck or two in next time you tip. They earned it.
"Hi, can we get a table for nine? Two adults, seven kids."
"No, you're not breaking up, the WAITER just keeps interrupting me."
"Hey, don't I know you?"
"What is this 'tipping'? We don't have it in my country."
"Yes, I'll have the cheeseburger, but can you replace the patty with four mozzarella sticks?"
"Can you make it quick?"
"It has been TEN MINUTES! Where's my well-done steak?!"
"Yeah, I'll have — hurr hurr guys shut up, I'm gonna do it — I'll have a water, with seven lemon wedges."
"I said MEDIUM-RARE, not bleeding! I want to speak to the chef."
"My steak was overcooked, and I refuse to pay for it. It took me the whole steak to realize it."
"No dessert, but another round of waters, please. We'll be here a while."
"But I didn't order those sliders, I just assumed they were on the house. They were delicious, though, thank you!"
"OMG, I need to Instagram this!"
"$21.32 on the VISA, $25.64 on the Amex, $17 out of this twenty, $8.23 out of this twenty, and can you make change for a fifty?"
"I didn't tip you because of my political views."
"I tipped you something BETTER than money!"
"I didn't tip you because I just don't tip."
"I didn't tip you because of my religious beliefs."
"Our customer was an unreasonable jerk, so you're fired."
"The customer is always right!"
"No, no, no...that's for you."
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