Sarah

This is so true. If the dirty laundry pile gets too bad I take it to the laundromat where I can wash and dry it all at the same time. The 2 hours it takes to do one load at home is too much.

When my twins were about 7 or 8 they got a letter from the Elf on the Shelf saying they had been good for so many years in a row that had graduated the program and he was being reassigned.

When I was a teenager, my friend called me a dildo-head. At my blank look she told me to ask my dad what it meant. Apparently fishermen have a stick, called a dildo, they use to knock the fish out so they don't flop out of the boat. Who knew?

Why is Marge Simpson yelling at Peter?

The DARE program. The cops came to our 5th grade class to show us meth teeth and mug shots. The best part was the sample board that showed real drugs next to their fake counterparts (think weed next to oregano). I pointed out that they just taught kids how to recognize if they were… Read More

When I was 17 I won early access tickets from a radio station. It was a new Jim Carrey movie and my dad liked him so I invited dear old dad along... to Me, Myself, and Irene.

Pumped Up Kicks is the catchiest school shooter song.

#3 is better with Rolos.

More pie for us, right!

Blasphemy! Pumpkin pie should be eaten year round. I bet Stephen had never had the Libby's pp recipe with pumpkin pie spice, cold, with Cool Whip. You can get rid of all that other PS crap.