Grab The Nearest Glass Of Wine, We've Got Six Insane Theories About How "Big Little Lies" Ends

    We know you're DYING for answers.

    by Sam Stryker, Crystal Ro, Kristin Harris, Keely Flaherty, Claire de Louraille, Alanna Bennett

    1. The group effort:

    HBO

    Killer: Madeline, Celeste, Jane

    Victim: Perry

    Listen, Perry is fucking insane. Like, certified, A+ jackass. At first he was just one small tiny part of the story, just like everyone else. But as the show progressed, Perry and his nightmarish ways started to become front and center. And as far as I'm concerned, Perry has GOT TO GO. Here's how I see it go down: Jane, Celeste, and Madeline show up to Trivia Night together. Perry walks in late, and Jane sees him and immediately realizes that he is, in fact, the scumbag that raped her. He does travel frequently, after all, and so far Jane has never met him. While Jane is flipping out on Perry, Celeste has a ~moment~ after realizing everything, tells Madeline that he's been abusing her, and in a fit a rage the three of them push Perry off the cliff. The end. — Kristin Harris

    2. The ending where Perry DOESN'T die:

    HBO

    Killer: Madeline, Celeste, Jane, Bonnie, Renata

    Victim: Gordon

    The fact that all the leads – Madeline, Celeste, Jane, Bonnie, and Renata – are NOT in the police interview sessions is like a giant arrow saying “THEY DID IT.” Now, as to WHO they killed, I’m a little less sure. Although I hope it’s Perry, that is maybe a little too on the nose for this show. I like the idea of them accidentally killing someone together. Maybe, like, Gordon. Renata is finally going to reach her boiling point with Gordon and shove him during an argument. He’ll go tumbling down the stairs and buh-bye Gordon. That guy is such a chooch. — Crystal Ro

    3. The poetic justice:

    HBO

    Killer: Renata

    Victim: Perry

    Every time I watch another episode of Big Little Lies, I feel more and more like the “Confused Math Lady” meme, trying to figure out who’s dead and who did it. But the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced Renata is ultimately the one who kills Perry (preferably with a huge glass of wine in hand while she commits the crime). My theory is Jane recognizes Perry at the party as her rapist, she confronts him with her girlfriends, and Renata stumbles on the exchange. As much as Perry is a dangerous, abusive asshole, one thing I know: never, ever cross a scorned Laura Dern. She kills him in a fit of rage (I also think Perry & Celeste’s twins are the ones bullying Annabella — sorry, AMABELLA), and we get our (sort of) happily ever after. It’s like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants except with murder and Lululemon. — Sam Stryker

    4. The one that's funny, but in a #DARK way:

    HBO

    Killers: Ed and Nathan

    Victims: Ed and Nathan, but in an accident because they're both idiots

    Look, Ed’s kinda odd — bordering on creepy even — and is fiercely defensive of Madeline. Nathan is an ass, has documented anger issues (but he went to therapy and did yoga once, so he’s ~cured~ now) has an ego the size of Jupiter, AND is fiercely defensive about Bonnie, and proving to Madeline (and Ed) that he’s a better/changed man. These two also have the pettiest fight on the planet. I’m thinking that their catty-ass fight comes to a tipping point near the top of the stairs and they brawl it out, eventually sending one another careening down the concrete steps. WIth any luck, they’ll both be dead. — Claire de Louraille

    5. The one you should have seen coming:

    HBO

    Killer: Madeline

    Victim: Ed

    Listen, there’s a lot happening in this show but one thing that keeps catching my eye is how weird Ed can be around Abigail. His eyes always linger on her a little too long, and Ed’s been pretty creepy around women in general (remember when he watched Bonnie exercise and told her how good she looked sweaty?). Something weird happening there might also have given Abigail a more specific reason for wanting to move out. When Madeline confessed her affair to her daughter in the penultimate episode, maybe Abigail saw an opening and realized their marriage isn’t as perfect as they pretend. So maybe in the finale, Abigail will tell Madeline that Ed has made moves on her, or something like that. And maybe Madeline...won’t take that very well. — Alanna Bennett

    6. And finally, the ending we all want:

    HBO

    Killers: Celeste, with a little help from Madeline & Jane

    Victim: Perry

    If Perry doesn't die, what the fuck was this even all for, guys? I originally thought Jane moved to Monterey for Perry because they had an affair on one of his work trips and Ziggy was his son. Now I'm convinced Perry is her rapist (and also an abusive asshole, so die, Perry, die). I'm guessing Jane sees/smells Perry for the first time at trivia night and realizes it's him, and as she's about to shoot him, Celeste convinces her not to. Then he threatens them both, Celeste loses it, and bludgeons him to death. Madeline walks in and they fill her in and make a Ya Ya Sisterhood pact to protect each other at all costs. The show ends with a 20-year jump into the future, and they're all living together in a seaside mansion with Bonnie, who finally had an epiphany and left Nathan. Ed is allowed to visit occasionally. — Keely Flaherty