Here are some funny tweets from this weekend for anyone who might need a laugh, a distraction, or just something light to read. Enjoy and stay safe.
1.
If my son wants apple juice, I give him half water and half apple juice but the juice I buy is already watered down. The first time this kid has a glass of full sugar apple juice he’s gonna fucking powerbomb me through our coffee table.
2.
Remember how in Gilmore Girls, Lorelai was like “can I have 30k/year for Rory’s school,” and her mom was like “ok fine but you have to let us make you dinner once/week” and Lorelai was like “ugghhhhh mom you’re the worst”
3.
egg thief!!!!!!!!!
4.
everyones talking about WAP & not about SAD (small ass dick)
5.
If you pronounce the D in “wildin” you the feds bro
6.
Avengers be like “We did it!.... We saved the city 👏🏾”
7.
Annabelle after she escaped
Yes, it was rumored the real Annabelle doll escaped. It wound up being untrue, but there were still some hilarious memes about it.
8.
Anabelle starting her only fans now that shes a free womans
9.
Screw it. USPS fancam.
10.
11.
12.
takin her to starbucks cuz i forgot her name
13.
where i thought i would be at 25: married, pregnant w my first child where i am at 25: smoking weed in the bathtub at 7:40 AM
14.
saturdays are for the boys
15.
14 days in the supermarket 2 days in my house https://t.co/GTk2tdsiFn
16.
People who pick the top hat in monopoly moan when they pee
17.
when my friends who aren't on twitter send me viral tweets it's like omg that's so cute that you think I haven't seen this because you don't know that I'm on twitter every waking moment 😍
18.
My body is not a temple it is a 2009 toyota corolla that smells like weed