30. Eagles - “Hotel California”
I don’t care if this song is about a brothel or an insane asylum, or even an actual hotel, it doesn’t matter. The hotel is lame and the song is totally stupid.
29. Carly Rae Jepsen - “Call Me Maybe”
A lot of people are sick of this song. Which isn’t the song’s fault! But at the end of the day, no one’s calling you. Stop asking.
28. Maroon 5 - “Moves Like Jagger”
Adam Levine is modern pop music’s greatest monster.
27. Fun. - “We Are Young”
Kings Of Leon to Foster The People to Fun., they’re the 2nd day leftovers of radio indie rock. No thank you.
26. Paris Hilton - “Stars Are Blind”
Totally forgot Paris Hilton existed. Where’s she been lately? Either way, her song was terrible.
25. Owl City - “Fireflies”
When you consider the age of the guy from Owl City compared to the average age of his tween fans, this song has a really creepy vibe to it. Also, it’s just a tremendously horrible song.
24. Lady Antebellum - “Need You Now”
Let’s group in all of pop country while we’re at it.
23. UB40 - “Red Red Wine”
This song was bad when it first came out, sure, but it has since somehow become even more terrible, and could be considered the official soundtrack of terrible barbecue cookouts everywhere.
22. The Offspring - “Pretty Fly For A White Guy”
The whole late 90s spiked hair, hawaiian shirts, JNCO jeans skate culture was really disgusting looking back on it.
Sorry Green Day, this song is lame, and hearing it during every slideshow about graduation ever is even lamer.
20. Blind Melon - “No Rain”
The bee girl made this song famous, sure, but cute bee girl or not, this song is annoying as all hell.
19. Black Eyed Peas - “My Humps”
18. Boston - “More Than A Feeling”
This song is in the same category as “Hotel California,” which is that it’s terrible dad rock, belonging only in crappy car commercials or maybe used ironically at the end of a sitcom.
17. LMFAO - “Sexy And I Know It”
The fact that LMFAO is popular makes you wonder if somebody put a ton of LSD in our national water supply doesn’t it?
16. Crazy Town - “Butterfly”
No song perfectly captures everything bad about everything like this song does.
15. Black Eyed Peas - “Don’t Phunk With My Heart”
The Black Eyed Peas are the soundtrack to every bar you’ve ever spent too much money on a beer at.
14. Spin Doctors - “Two Princes”
Little known fact: If someone tells you in all seriousness that they like the Spin Doctors you’re allowed to laugh at them in the face until you get tired of laughing at someone in the face.
13. Rihanna - “Umbrella”
Ella-ella-ella eh eh eh ella-ella-ella eh eh eh ella-ella-ella eh eh eh.
12. Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em - “Crank Dat”
“Crank Dat” by Soulja Boy is shockingly stupid, just unfathomably terrible in every conceivable way.
11. Billy Ray Cyrus - “Achy Breaky Heart”
The only thing that can be said about Billy Ray Cyrus is that he’s clearly made some kind of deal with the devil and we just have to have faith that eventually he’ll pay for what he’s done to our ears.
10. Eddie Murphy - “Party All The Time”
This song is the Norbit of music.
9. Europe - “The Final Countdown”
At first this song was kind of funny because it was so bad, but then it circled back around again and is just really bad again. The circle of life.
8. Daniel Powter - “Bad Day”
I once saw Daniel Powter play this on American Idol when it was still on the top 20 charts and he looked just so absolutely disgusted with himself to be playing it.
7. Styx - “Come Sail Away”
Styx’s song “Come Sail Away” is so famously horrible that children grow up knowing about it’s terribleness before even hearing the actual song. It’s historical fact.
6. Train - “Hey, Soul Sister”
The story is that the lead singer of Train wrote the lyrics to this song about a girl he saw on the internet from a photo album of pictures taken at Bonaroo. I prefer to think that the lead singer of Train is actual a millennia old demon that has awoken from his ancient sleep to sing songs that eventually end the world.
5. Lou Bega - “Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of…)”
Lou Bega needs an STD test. He rattles off a lot of women’s names and that really cannot be safe.
4. Mr. C The Slide Man - “Cha-Cha Slide”
There’s a circle of hell reserved for people who make their friends and family due this insipid dance at their weddings.
3. Baha Men - “Who Let The Dogs Out”
It’s hard to believe how terrible a song about cool dogs could be.
2. Nickelback - “Rockstar”
It’s hard to pick the exact worst Nickelback song. But perhaps “Rockstar” is the most unequivocally terrible of their catalog. If aliens came to earth and asked why everyone hates Nickelback so much, this song would be a perfect explanation.
1. Limp Bizkit - “Nookie”
It should be against the law to be Fred Durst.
- Adnan Syed, whose murder conviction was a subject of the "Serial" podcast, is getting a new trial.