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31 Slightly Odd Questions I Have Asked Myself That You Probably Have Too

When I pick up a bug, is the weight of my hand crushing their entire body?

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1. Does the queen shit, and if so does someone wipe her arse or does she do it herself?

2. And what toilet paper does she use?

3. When celebrities go to award ceremonies, do they just get nervous speaking to each other? Do they try to make friends?

4. How many people do you get to take with you to an award ceremony anyway?

5. If someone attacks me will I suddenly be an expert in karate and be able to fight them?

6. Or if I were being chased and forced to climb a steel fence, will I be able to?

7. When I look in the mirror is that the real me? Is that what people see when they see me?

8. And when I hear a recording of myself, is that actually what I sound like because that doesn't sound like me?

9. If I locked myself in the bathroom by accident how long would it take for someone to realise I'm missing?

10. If ghosts do exist does this mean my granddad can just pop in at any time and watch me? What if I'm eating crisps naked on the sofa?

11. Does anyone else have sex dreams about me, because I've had sex dreams about weird people so surely someone is having a sex dream about me?

12. And is there someone right now staring at my Instagram wondering about my life?

13. When I pick up a bug, is the weight of my hand crushing their entire body? Have I already practically killed them?

14. Do bees know that sometimes we confuse them with wasps and do they get sad because they are not actually evil they are just lovely fluffy bees?

15. When celebrities go for a bikini wax, does the person doing it have to sign a NDA so they can't go to OK! magazine and do a tell- all about their pubes?

16. What would I look like as a man? Would it basically be me but with a beard?

17. When you go for a poo, can people smell it on you afterwards?

18. When you're staring at someone and you think they can't see you, does that mean other people are staring at you but you can't see them?

19. What is my future husband doing right now?

20. When I ACCIDENTALLY kill a spider or flush it down the loo, will his spider family come back in the future and take revenge on me?

21. Is the government going through all of my online activities right now and thinking "wow this girl googles celebrity bra sizes a lot"?

22. What do dogs hear when I say "oh my goshy gosh you are such a good little boy ooooh weee squishy wishy gaga eeeeee love you so much"?

23. If there is a 1 in a million chance of something bad happening this very moment, could this be that 1 in a million moment?

24. Because it has to happen to someone and what if that someone is me?

25. What if I meet a guy and we actually knew each other when we were babies?

26. Like if I meet a guy in L.A and it's actually the boy who lived next door to my auntie when I lived with her when I was three?

27. Is there someone who looks just like me somewhere out there in the world?

28. What about on another planet? Is there another planet with like, alien versions of each of us?

29. When I die, is my brain gonna just like switch off? How will I just suddenly be able to stop thinking?

30. If I fell off a building, could I hold onto a window ledge and wait for someone to pull me up or would I just slip to my death immediately because my upper arm strength is REALLY bad?

31. What if my current world is like The Truman Show or The Matrix and a bunch of people are watching me acting out my Oscar acceptance speech in the mirror?