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If You've Had 26/37 Of These Big Boob Problems, Then You Deserve A Medal

Have you been knocked out by your knockers?

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  1. Tick off all of the things you have experienced
    Remee Patel
    Check
    One of your boobs completely popping out of your bra
    Check
    Held onto your tiddies for dear life when you did something remotely vigorous like run for the bus or go down some stairs
    Check
    Worn a bra that was slightly too small and thus encountered the "four boob" effect
    Check
    Had a button pop undone because your boobs were straining against your shirt
    Check
    Had someone describe you based on your boobs like "Big Boobs Betty" or "Tits McGee"
    Check
    Struggled to get into a comfortable lying position because your boobs got in the way
    Check
    Been suffocated by your boobs during exercise – like during sit ups or yoga
    Check
    Struggled to find a bra in your size, especially a cute one
    Check
    Been forced to buy another "sensible" black bra because of aforementioned problem
    Check
    Had to avoid to wearing something with a high neckline because it made you look like Mrs Trunchbull
    Check
    Struggled to find a strapless bra that actually supports you AND doesn't again make you look like Mrs Trunchbull
    Check
    Had to avoid wearing something with a low neckline for fear you're showing "too much" cleavage
    Check
    Had necklaces get stuck in your cleavage because they don't sit high or low enough on your chest
    Check
    Lost food to your cleavage
    Check
    Lost your phone in your boob
    Check
    Had to wear two sports bras because one just wasn't supportive enough
    Check
    Or worn one sports bra that was practically industrial strength
    Check
    Been used as a human pillow by friends and lovers because your boobs are so "comfortable"
    Check
    Been accidentally hit in the boob more times than you can recall simply because they stick out more
    Check
    Had someone mess around with your bra in amazement because the cups are "so big!"
    Check
    Worn a printed T-shirt but stretched our the graphics because of the size of your chest
    Check
    Flashed people on holiday because your boobs couldn't stay in your swimsuit
    Check
    Had your nipples end up in entirely different places because of your boobs being squished into a bra
    Check
    Been trapped in an item of clothing while trying it on because you overestimated the space for your boobs
    Check
    Had to buy a completely different size in something to cater for your boobs
    Check
    Found a cute wrap dress that fitted you nicely everywhere else, but was just gaping open at the front because there wasn't enough material to wrap around your tiddies
    Check
    Had to pin a top or dress around the boob area because women's clothes rarely take breasts into consideration
    Check
    Not been able to borrow something from a friend because "you'll stretch it"
    Check
    Never being able to go bra-less and be free of your boob prison in public, for fear everyone will gawk
    Check
    Had to avoid cute trends like bralettes because they just don't offer any support
    Check
    And never been able to buy cheaper bikinis based on general sizes
    Check
    Had painful bra strap marks from the pressure of holding the sheer weight of your boobs
    Check
    Lied down and not been able to see straight ahead of you
    Check
    Unless you've taken off your bra and watched your tiddies slope to the sides of your arms
    Check
    Had a baby THAT WASN'T YOURS try to get to your boobies because they think there's milk in them
    Check
    Dealt with BOOB SWEAT 24/7, 365 days a year
    Check
    Waited impatiently for every goddam day to end so you could take of your bra and let your tiddies be free
 
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