41 Awkward Struggles Of Dating In London
"Shall we say Leicester Square at 7pm?" *Deletes match*
1. Finding out someone you're talking to on a dating site lives on the wrong side of the river and wanting to immediately block them.
2. Wondering whether it's acceptable to cancel a date because they've suggested Leicester Square as a meeting place.
3. Picking a busy meeting place and not being able to recognise your date because there are several other people desperately looking at Tinder pictures on their phones.
4. Trying to meet your date at a massive tube station having not specified which exit you meant and spending 10 minutes WhatsApping trying to find each other.
5. Inevitably talking about your commute during your date.
6. Going on a date with someone and discovering that they actually live with their parents in Surrey, so they'll move into your flat by date three.
7. Agreeing to meet in Shoreditch despite neither of you living or working anywhere near there, because it seemed like the cool thing to do.
8. (And realising quickly that it is not).
9. Ending up cancelling weekend dates because of engineering works.
10. Having to go on a date to Winter Wonderland.
11. Wanting to go on a cool date featured in Time Out but knowing you can't because literally a million other people will want to do the same.
12. Always meaning to go on one of those intellectual museum dates to something like the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition but then never actually being bothered.
13. Thinking about going to Gordon's Wine Bar but discovering it's ludicrously busy so ending up in The Slug and Lettuce again.
14. Going to the loo and finding that the queue is so long you panic your date will think you've gone for a shit.
15. Wanting to go on a cheap-ish pub date and having your only real option be Wetherspoon's.
16. Or a weird old man pub.
17. Eventually taking all your dates to the same weird old man pub because it's cheap and you can get off with them in the corner all night and only three old men will ever see.
18. Wanting to go on a cinema date but not wanting to bankrupt yourself.
19. Because there's nothing worse than spending a shitload of money on a date that might be utterly crap.
20. Wondering how many dates you have to go on before it's acceptable to use your Taste Card.
21. Ending up in a Bella Italia because you have to queue literally everywhere else or have made a reservation last year.
22. Having whole areas of London blacklisted because your ex lives there.
23. Still managing to bump into exes all the time despite the fact that London is a MASSIVE city.
24. Meeting a date near your work and bumping into every single one of your colleagues.
25. Ending up getting utterly shitfaced on a weeknight date because everything is too busy at the weekend.
26. Going for a romantic stroll in the park but being surrounded by children on scooters.
27. Thinking about going to Hampstead Heath but then realising that would involve three different forms of transport.
28. Realising that walking along the Southbank at night can be utterly depressing if your date is not going well.
29. Trying to hold hands but having to break off constantly because of scaffolding and masses of tourists.
30. Having to take a ridiculous route home because your date was shit and it turns out they get the same tube line as you.
31. Having your awkward goodbye kiss on the tube in front of an entire carriage of people.
32. And then having that carriage of people judge you for the rest of the journey home.
33. Agreeing to go home together and having the sexual tension completely destroyed by the night bus journey to your flat.
34. Or the topping up of your Oyster card.
35. Panicking about whether you should or shouldn't face your date on the escalator and realising it's fucking awkward either way.
36. Trying to have sex in a cramped London flat shared with four other housemates who can blatantly hear you.
37. Realising the next day that you've made a terrible mistake because they live in zone 6 and now you have to trek all the way across London to get to work.
38. Not being able to get back to your flat before work the next day so having to madly dash to Primark in the morning so your colleagues won't notice.
39. Hating online dating, but having to rely on it because Londoners don't speak to strangers.
40. Unless they're pissed.
41. But luckily never running out of potential dates.