When R. Kelly went onstage with Phoenix at Coachella this year to perform a surprise live mashup of "Ignition (Remix)" — hands-down the greatest pop song to ever compare a lady to an automobile and, God willing, our future national anthem — he reminded us once again of what is arguably the song's greatest virtue.
And its virtues, they are many. But its crowning glory is this: No matter who's singing or playing it or mashing it up, no matter what the hell they're doing to it, this song cannot be bad. It is by definition a remix, and as such is infinitely remixable. It is invincible. Incorruptible.
Don't believe me? Just TRY to hate a single one of these versions. TRY.
2. They had previously mixed it with Major Lazer's "Keep It Going Louder."
4. Joseph Gordon-Levitt covered it at the behest of all humans, everywhere.
6. And this mash-up vs. Avicii's "Levels (Skrillex Remix)" is pretty next-LEVEL.
Hahaha sorry. By Area 6.
7. If it works as soulful acoustic British pop-rock sung by this dude, it CAN'T NOT WORK.
10. You guys, it's even great as a folksy violin instrumental. I swear.
12. ...because not even TEDDY GEIGER can kill this song.
Did you know Teddy's making a new album? Lololololol.
13. If there's a single version of this song on earth that comes even close to ruining it, it's this one.
Now I'm not tryna be rude, but this video is actually so aggressively ~white~ that it's sort of weirdly offensive? I wouldn't show it to you, but you should know about it so that you can hate it and burn it in your mind.
To cleanse your soul after that, a reminder of how deeply wonderful the original still is:
And thus was crowned the king of all party songs. BEEP BEEP foreverrrrrr, bitches.