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1. A big ol' pack of Scotch tape so you don't have to use duct tape or — idk — an "I Voted" sticker that you gently peel off your computer and cut into little pieces to wrap gifts.
2. A pack of seasonal wrapping paper, because you've been known to break out the pink birthday paper in seasons past, but...it's just not the same.
3. And a pack of gift bags and tissue paper for those hard-to-wrap items that you just don't have the time (or patience, or skill) for.
4. A twistable neck pillow so your neck isn't cricked awkwardly to the side in all of your holiday photos after flying or driving to see your family and sleeping at a weird angle the entire way there.
5. An Instant Pot to majorly cut down on your cook time for holiday main dishes. Pressure's off thanks to pressure cooking!
6. Some classic but modern serving platters, because your family will never forget the time you forgot to run the dishwasher and had to serve holiday food on plastic lids.
7. A simple, elegant, and cozy dress you can pop on whenever you get an invite to yet another fabulous party. It'll last you for *years* of service and always look classic. Heck, keep it in your car in case of last-minute fêtes.
8. A windshield cover so you're not late to your aunt's annual potluck for the fifth year in a row because you're scraping your windows off.
9. Some shatterproof ornaments, because many a tear has been shed though the years after you stumbled into the tree and broken some with GREAT sentimental value.
10. A Stila swipe-on glitter eyeshadow so you can pull a glam wintery look with little to no effort (or tbh, skill).
11. And a stamp-on cat eyeliner to really cut down on your getting ready time. Being punctual *and* having the sharpest wing at the Yule Ball? Iconic.
12. A carry-on roller bag so you don't have to subject the gifts you're traveling with to getting banged up in your old duffel or potentially lost forever in a checked bag.
13. A ~hefty~ supply of trash bags for cleaning up holiday refuse wherever you're celebrating. You're def gonna need them if you're hosting yourself, but if you bring them to Party Central, it'll be gift of the year, guaranteed.
14. A multi-pack of individually wrapped bath bombs so you always have a little gift on hand in case you completely forget to buy something for someone. Ah, yes, cousin Mary, I totally remembered you'd be here and know you love a good soak!
15. A bunch of pretty paper straws so when you're hosting, there's not a plastic one in sight. Happy holidays to turtles only.
16. An LED Menorah if you've accidentally burned your sleeve on candles in the past and would rather opt for this child- and you-safe option.
17. A wine aerator so the three dollar bottles of red you got en masse will taste at least like nine dollar bottles. Hey, you spent your money on presents, wine was the last consideration on the budget.
18. A gorgeous artificial wreath, because YES a real one would be great and smell nice, etc, etc but you are absolutely kidding yourself if you think you're gonna sweep up all those falling needles every day.
19. An *actual* air mattress so any additional guests staying at your house don't have to wake up with a bum back after sleeping on one of your "palettes" — aka, every blanket you could find stacked up in the middle of the living room.
20. A set of packing cubes if by the end of your winter vacation and family visits, your luggage tends to look like a true pile of nonsense. These will 100% help you stay organized. If they worked for me — the nonsense queen — they should work for you!
21. A Mistletoe Homesick candle so even if you don't have time to clip some of the mysterious kissing plant for yourself, the house can still smell like it.
22. A wine stain remover, because you tend to do a bit of over-acting during the group rendition of "Jingle Bells" while holding mulled wine. You will never learn, so at least come prepared.
23. And a pair of gift wrap hair clips, because if you're gonna be a mess this season, you might as well shine while doing it!!!
Happy Holidays you hawt, hawt mess!
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