30 Menu Fails That Will Ruin Food Forever

“Can I get a diet cock with that, and is the cumcumber vagitarian?

1. “Yes, I’ll have some ruthlessly rimmed wings please…”

Dave Brighouse / buzzfeed.com

2. “Actually I’ll just have the viagra prawn warp.”

Angelique Neumann / buzzfeed.com

3. “Does that come with chips? Sorry, sheeps?”

4. “… And do you do diet cock?”

Mike Sanders / buzzfeed.com

5. “Ooh, free bears! I mean beers. No, actually just send the bear.”

6. Maybe steer clear of the crap dip.

7. And the bowel rice.

8. And the crud rice.

9. But there’s something for everyone out there.

10. On second thought I think I’m not hungry any more.

11. In this case, words really can’t describe what this Chinese takeaway does.

RT @Singyamatokun Engrish on the back of the menu is worst I've ever seen! << reads like Chinese version of Ron Manager

— Nick Barlow (@nickjbarlow)

12. “Sandwichis.”

13. This doesn’t sound amazing.

14. Well, this is at least a resourceful approach to pest control.

Great menu typo

— Suzanna Hermans (@oblongirl)

15. As is this.

There appears to be a typo on this Chinese menu

— Kevin Pang (@pang)

16. All vagitarians catered for.

17. There is in fact a worrying number of food establishments offering vag-related items.

18. A really worrying amount.

19. “Round-cut aborigine.”

21. “SCOTHCH”. In fairness you would be saying it like that after a few too many.

22. There’s nothing like a pub lunch. Like this dish of belly pork with “jew.” Or “jus.” Whatever.

23. The horsemeat scandal hasn’t affected these people one bit.

Considering last yr's meat scandal, maybe not the best picture to have on the front of a Chinese takeaway menu

— L (@MrsCupcake79)

24. But the “meat taps” sound lovely.

25. Meanwhile, takeaway drivers are given some very strict instructions these days.

26. Be careful if you choose to pick up the food yourself, though.

27. At least this one was polite.

My cat is sad because our local Indian takeaway menu no longer has a misprint saying "thank you for your costume".


28. And hey, why not go for a celebrity endorsement! If Conservative MP Eric Pickles thinks it’s good, it can’t be bad.

This takeaway menu has just landed on my doorstep: yes that really is @EricPickles

— Kaye Wiggins (@kayewiggins)

29. Semi-ironic rockers The Darkness can’t get enough of this curry house.

Still the best takeaway menu of all time...

— Gourmet Gorro (@gourmetgorro)

30. If all else fails, you can always take advantage of this timeless offer.

Correction: This post originally mentioned “chicken fingers,” which are an unheard of food for our highly cultured staff members over at BuzzFeed UK.

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Patrick Smith is a senior reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
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