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19 Heinous Acts That Prove Babies Are Masters Of Crime

1. Cold-blooded murder.

2. Assault and battery of a man in a dog costume.

3. Grand theft auto.

4. Being drunk all the time.

5. ALL THE TIME.

6. Doing a poo in an art gallery.

7. Looking like a terrifying ghost on the baby monitor.

8. "Barfing".

9. Crimes against dining ettiquette.

10. Looking exactly like Wallace Shawn from The Princess Bride.

11. Being seven minutes old and already fed up with life.

12. Bumsplosions.

13. Just generally being a total jerk.

14. Impersonating a baby ghost.

15. Holding a business meeting over breakfast.

16. TERRIBLE manners.

17. Impersonating adults.

18. Refusing to be a happy flower.

19. Not giving a single fuck.

And remember, baby crimelords: there's only one place you're ending up: baby jail.

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