21 Devastating British Kebab Problems
Chilli sauce salad?
When the Queen takes over your local kebab house.
When your kebab is so big it requires a wooden support.
When a kebab house sells a litre of vodka in a cheeseburger deal and it's just too tempting.
When you can get a Christmas tree delivered with your kebab but only in a three-mile radius.
When your kebab shop gives out a doner card with your kebab.
When someone steals a kebab skewer.
When your local kebab shop offers chicken – for a change – which is "ruthlessly rimmed".
When your local kebab house arranges a school trip for 8-year-olds.
When people make kebabs out of "sand" and "ass".
When kebab shops undersell themselves a wee bit.
Still, it could be worse.
When these people are in front of you in the queue.
When kebab vans do awful puns.
When you can't get a kebab and have to make do with kebab-flavoured crisps.
When kebab shops nick the Little Chef logo.
When someone decides to make one out of chocolate instead of meat.
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