We asked the members of the BuzzFeed Community for their funniest, grossest, most embarrassing tampon horror stories and, boy, did they deliver! Here are the cringeworthy results:
1. The lady and the tamp:
When I first got my dog, I had a regular trash can in the bathroom. That changed really quickly after one of our walks when I realized she was taking an unusually long time to poop because she was pooping out one of my used tampons! The string was too thin for her to push out, so I had to pull my used tampon out of my dog's butt.
—Rachel Ward, Facebook
2. The wrong hole:
When I was 10, my mom offered to help me use my first tampon, but I was too stubborn and embarrassed to get help. She told me to "just put it in the hole!" So, I sat in front of a mirror and painfully put it in the only hole I saw. I immediately was in A LOT of pain! Turns out I put the tampon in my butt!!! I had to soak in the bath for a while before taking it out, which was incredibly painful. It took me years before I had the courage to try using a tampon again. Tough times.
—Brittney Biasi, Facebook
3. The whole thing:
As a teen, I had no idea how tampons worked because my mom wouldn't let me use them. Then, one day in high school, my period came unexpectedly so I had to ask around for a pad. The only thing anyone had was a tampon. Clueless, I shoved the thing up my hoo-ha and left it there, plastic applicator and all.
4. The neglected toilet paper:
I was on a night train when my period came earlier than usual. They didn't allow actual luggage inside the cabin (and all of my period stuff was in my luggage), so I had nothing on me. I had to improvise by sticking a few sheets of toilet paper up there. I had forgotten all about it until my vagina started smelling really bad about a week later. The toilet paper had started to get moldy.
—Alina Küttel, Facebook
5. The blood-filled bathtub and the traumatized boyfriend:
I have endometriosis, so my periods are from hell: painful, heavy, and horribly bloody. Before I got on an effective treatment regimen, I had one BAD period. My boyfriend had just drawn me a bath and brought me into the bathroom. Before I got in the tub, I decided to take out the tampon I'd had in all day.
I LITERALLY UNCORKED MYSELF. Blood and menstrual matter came pouring out of me — all over the toilet and the floor. After I threw out the tampon and attempted to clean up, my boyfriend threw me into the tub and ran out of the bathroom. With no cork, the bathwater became the Red Sea in about 10 minutes. I pretty much looked like a murder victim.
6. The hot doctor:
My aunt's friend once forgot she already had a tampon in and inserted another one. The doctor she booked to remove it happened to be a handsome man, making her feel even more embarrassed about the whole situation. He removed both tampons and she was good to go, but the embarrassment didn't stop there.
She had a blind date the following evening. When she arrived at the restaurant, she realized her date was the frickin' handsome gyno who had removed the two tampons she'd gotten stuck in her damn vagina!
7. The sneeze, pop, and slither:
My friends wanted to go clubbing on a night when I had a particularly heavy flow. Everything was fine during our debauchery until I smelled a whiff of some STRONG cologne. So, of course, I got a sneeze attack on the dance floor. The first two sneezes were fine, but three more sneezes followed, each one more violent than the last. Then I felt something pop out and slither down my leg. I looked down and saw a trail of blood on my thigh and my bloody tampon on the floor.
8. The tampon that refused to stay just beyond the river bend:
I went tubing with some friends one summer and when we got lodged in a shallow part of the river, we had to move to a deeper area. But once we got there, the current picked up and my tampon was sucked out of my body. It took me a few minutes to notice that the tampon was floating beside me and my friends. Once I realized this, I picked it up and threw it as hard as I could toward the shore. Skip to 10 minutes later when the tampon caught up to us and I had to throw it AGAIN.
9. The mistaken identity:
A couple months after I had my daughter, my cervix was very low and soft. Early one morning when I was having a monstrous period, I went to the bathroom and couldn't find the tampon I had put in before. I panicked and started to dig a little deeper. I found a string and gave it a good tug. Imagine my surprise when I saw that I was holding my poor little copper IUD in my hands instead of a tampon! I then realized my tampon had fallen in the toilet while I was peeing. And that, friends, is how I learned to always check the toilet for the lost tampon before going hunting.
—Gwen Powell, Facebook
10. The #friendgoal:
I forgot to remove my tampon once, pushing it in deeper when I inserted a new one. A few days and rounds of sex later, I noticed some dark brown blood and a horrible smell coming from me. A friend told me that I might have a tampon stuck up there and a few days later in a public bathroom, I felt something moving around inside of me. Surprise — it was a tampon!
After I unsuccessfully tried to get it out, my friend and I went into a larger stall where she proceeded to place her fingers inside the nastiness that was my rotten-smelling, blood-filled vagina and got it out. Everyone, get yourself a friend like mine.
11. And the #momgoal:
When I was 14, I wanted to go swimming while on my period, so I used a tampon for the first time ever. I had heard that you should pull it out once the string turned red or after eight hours max. When I tried to pull it out eight hours later, it hurt like crazy because the tampon was WAY too full. There I was: sitting in the bathroom, crying and freaking out because of the pain. My mom eventually came in and pulled it out for me. Moms are the best.
12. The floater:
I was at a water park, and it was my first time using a tampon. As I went down the water slide, I felt something come out of the bottom of my swimsuit. I knew it was my tampon, but I thought I could act like nothing happened and walk away. That's when I discovered that tampons float, because as I walked away, I heard the kid behind me say, "Mommy, what is that?" The only thing I heard as I ran away was the mother screaming at the kid to drop it. I spent the rest of the day hiding in the bathroom.
13. The nail salon nightmare:
As I was getting my nails done with my cousin before her wedding, I realized that my tampon was slipping out of me because I'd had it in for nine hours. So I awkwardly ran to the bathroom. It was filthy, dark, tiny, and had NO working sink. When I got inside, the tampon literally flew out of me and blood just starting pouring out. I managed to get another tampon in there to stop it, but I had no water to clean up. I had to make do with toilet paper and hand sanitizer. When I got back to the nail technician, I realized I had red splotches all over my hands and fingers. I was mortified but also so over it at that point.
14. The seriously shitty swim instructor:
The high school swim teacher during my freshman year wasn't very forgiving of girls who were on their period. He'd let us take about three days off, but made us swim after that or else it was detention. One time when I was on my period, I just put in a tampon and went to class. All was fine in the pool, but once I got into the locker room, my tampon leaked all over the floor. I cleaned it up the best I could and rushed to the toilet. Then another girl yelled, "Somebody had their period on the floor!" I was mortified.
15. The all-boys school free-bleeding:
When my doctor implanted my copper IUD (worst pain ever!), he had to induce my period. But afterwards, the bleeding just wouldn't stop. I was going through a super tampon every 45 minutes. Normally, I would have called out of work, but I had just started a new substitute-teacher job at an all-boys school.
By the end of the day, I'd managed to make four trips to the bathroom and only had two classes left. Unfortunately, they were back-to-back classes with no breaks. Halfway through the first class, I felt the tampon filling to capacity as I stood in front of a dozen teenage boys, free-bleeding and wanting to die. I never wanted a day to end as badly as that one.
16. The hymen with attachment issues:
The very first time I got my period was the very first time I had ever used a tampon, and it got stuck. Like, really stuck. Not just painful to remove because it was dry, but impossible to pull out. I nervously told my mom. Her response? "Oh no... I was worried this would happen." Apparently the same thing had happened to her. Fast-forward to me in the emergency room in stirrups as the only doctor on duty (a male doctor) literally cut the tampon out. Evidently a piece of my hymen had wrapped around the tampon and it got stuck. Worst Saturday morning ever.
17. The woman who left it in for a day:
My period wasn't heavy this particular cycle, but I had big plans and didn't want to think about it all night. So, I put in a tampon. Later that night after a few too many vodka sodas, I decided to get it on with my boyfriend, totally forgetting that I had a tampon in. It hurt a little bit, but he's blessed, so I didn't really think anything of it.
I remembered the tampon the next morning, but when I checked around for it, I couldn't find it. So I just assumed I'd taken it out the night before and went about my day. It wasn't until after midnight when I tried to pee that the tampon came out! It had been inside of me for almost 30 hours! This was a while back, but I'm still convinced that I'm secretly dying from TSS.
18. Or the woman who left it in for a WEEK:
My period had just finished, so I decided to have some sexy time with my boyfriend. The morning after, I woke up and noticed that I was spotting a tiny bit. I didn't think much of it, but after a few days of more spotting, I noticed a slight odor. So, I made an appointment with my gyno because I was super scared.
On the day of my appointment, I was using the bathroom when I felt something slide out of me. I look down and what do I see? A tamp that had been inside of me for an ENTIRE WEEK! Let's just say I'm STRICTLY team pad now more than ever.
19. And the person who left it in FOR A WHOLE MONTH:
In middle school, I had a period and everything seemed normal. But a few days after it ended, I noticed some weird orange discharge coming out. I was young and stupid, so I just ignored it thinking it would go away soon, but it didn't. It just started to smell REALLY bad. I was starting to feel really bad about myself and didn't want to do anything really. After a month, I decided enough was enough. I was going to pep myself up by playing some Dance Dance Revolution and tell my mom when she got home.
After a few rounds, I needed a bathroom break. While I was peeing, I felt something tap my inner thigh. I reached down to find an old-ass tampon string! The MONTH-OLD tampon that I pulled out was a disgusting, bloated, orange mess. Now I can laugh about it, but it was truly the most horrific month of my life! Needless to say I've been paranoid about forgetting a tampon inside me ever since.
