1. This one who waited exactly 31 minutes before writing a whole damn paragraph:
2. Or this one who went from smiley face to "blow me" in less than two hours:
3. This one who can't deal with confidence:
4. This one who can't keep his information straight:
5. This one who absolutely needs to leave Rick and Morty out of this:
6. This one who is trying to ruin pizza for us all:
7. This one who doesn't know what "nah not really" means:
8. This one who absolutely needs to chill out immediately:
9. This guy who is absolutely terrible at icebreakers:
10. This guy who needs to just put his damn phone down:
11. This one who can't even get the phone number correct:
12. And this guy who went from "alright" to "what the hell is going on?":
13. This one who truly, truly went from 0 to 1,000,000 for no damn reason:
14. This...just...it's a lot:
15. This guy who needs to learn how to transition topics:
16. This one who went from "oh that's nice" to "wait what":
17. And this one who seriously just needs to calm the fuck down:
h/t str8boytexts, one of the best Twitter accounts of all time.