1. I'd have to spill everything other than tea:
2. I'd also have to make every one of my children wear this:
3. I'd become a "scientist":
4. I'd feel threatened by someone else's existence:
5. I'd assume every queer couple are simply friends...
6. ...even if they're literally getting married:
7. I'd fall in love with an ogre or a bee:
8. I might actually spend money on these:
9. I'd say "What about me?" to anyone who will listen:
Me: Happy Pride to all the gays 🌈 Straight person:
10. I'd be generally confused for about 97% of the day:
11. I'd say "you're wrong" to someone who is clearly right:
12. I'd shop based on the opinions of people who don't matter:
13. I'd assume every queer person wants to fuck me:
14. I'd be asking questions like this:
15. I'd also make shit up whenever I felt like it:
16. I’d have to pretend that the word “gay” is taboo and never utter it:
17. I'd think this is sound logic:
18. I'd include myself whenever I could:
19. So it’s a good thing I’m not straight and I’m very fucking gay:
