19 Tweets About Straight People That'll Make You Laugh Despite Everything
Spill the juice!
I'd have to spill everything other than tea:
I'd also have to make every one of my children wear this:
I'd become a "scientist":
I'd feel threatened by someone else's existence:
I'd assume every queer couple are simply friends...
...even if they're literally getting married:
I'd fall in love with an ogre or a bee:
I might actually spend money on these:
I'd be generally confused for about 97% of the day:
I'd say "you're wrong" to someone who is clearly right:
I'd shop based on the opinions of people who don't matter:
I'd assume every queer person wants to fuck me:
I'd be asking questions like this:
I'd also make shit up whenever I felt like it:
I’d have to pretend that the word “gay” is taboo and never utter it:
I'd think this is sound logic:
I'd include myself whenever I could:
So it’s a good thing I’m not straight and I’m very fucking gay:
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