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1. When you're really peeved and trying to calm down:
2. If somebody says that it feels like a Tuesday:
3. Before you eat soup:
4. Also this:
5. When you're out and see someone's dance moves that can best be described as "godawful":
6. When you feel out of touch with the latest trends:
7. When you encounter a male idiot:
8. When there's a wait at a restaurant and you're starving:
9. If you're really freaking hungry:
10. If there's not anything wrong with that:
11. When you're speechless:
12. Every single time you play tennis:
13. If a friend smugly drops a high-sounding vocab word:
14. And when your friend asks you to go to a social gathering you have no interest in attending:
15. If someone makes fun of what you're reading:
16. If someone says something that blows you away:
17. When you tear up unexpectedly:
18. If people from your separate and distinct social circles start hanging out together:
19. Anytime you see a Jesus fish on a car:
20. When someone has some really amazing talent and you pale in comparison:
21. Every single time you pass an Arby's:
22. For low talkers:
23. For close talkers:
24. For girls about guys:
25. For guys (or girls) about girls:
26. When you think it's best to skip over some details of a story you're telling:
27. If you see PDA, this Newman gem runs through your mind:
28. And when someone won't stop talking about the gym or their workouts, this is what you're saying in your head:
29. When someone talks about the dream they had last night, you honestly think of responding with this:
30. When people are talking about guys' bodies:
31. If you're being honest about your passions:
32. What you use to justify lying:
33. When you eat spicy chicken:
34. When you eat shrimp:
35. Anytime you eat potatoes or cook potatoes:
36. When you eat salad:
37. When you eat pretzels, see someone else eating pretzels, or see anything involving pretzels:
38. When someone suggests that you confront another person:
39. If someone refuses to show you a little common courtesy, this is going on in your head:
40. When people ask why you're single:
41. If you're told that you're insane:
42. If you're in a crowded public place, you're thinking this:
43. And if someone's a jerk, you may not say this, but you're definitely thinking it:
44. If an apology is BS, you'd love to pull a George:
45. When something goes extremely wrong:
46. Anytime you hear the word "unprecedented":
47. When your friend asks what you did all day at work:
48. When people are talking about babies:
49. When you catch yourself in the mirror looking rough:
50. When you get mad, you cite George:
51. Before you take that first sip:
52. And this:
And MANY, MANY, MANY more that you take great pride in using on a regular basis.
So a round of applause to all of us speaking in Seinfeld-isms.
25 years later and the show is still gold.
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