13 NSFW Advent Calendars Because You Can't Gift Wrap Yourself

Whether you want a to try a hot new position or new sex toy every day...'tis the season.

1. A lingerie Advent calendar with six days of accessories to build a matching and seductive set for your next erotic evening, whether alone or with an S.O.

Lovehoney

If you want to keep it more sexy and less erotic, this set features six pieces of lingerie that belong to two sets, so you can mix and match. Not to mention, there's a vanilla-scented candle to help you set the mood.

Promising review: "Beautiful quality and so soft. There’s no way I was waiting to open these. They went straight on and they’re amazing. Great sizing and a must buy. The colors are gorgeous." —Natalie

Get it from Lovehoney for $75 (available in two sizes: 4–12 and 14–20). 

2. An Advent calendar inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey with 10 days of sensual pleasure toys and bondage accessories, so you and your O.H. can spice up more than just the eggnog.

Amazon

This 10-day Advent calendar includes all the things you need to get your Fifty Shades on (except the books or films), including satin restraints, nipple clamps, a blindfold, and a couple of vibrating and insertable toys for even more fun.

Get it from Amazon for $59.54.

3. A unique jar Advent calendar that's jam-packed with kinky and X-rated activities for you and your O.H. to explore.

The Jam Packed Jars / Etsy

This adorable and affordable jar is filled with 25 slips of paper with different kinky and seductive activities for couples to engage in and come closer together over the holidays.

Promising review: "Fabulous little jar! Can't wait to open it at Christmas and see all the wonderful things my husband is going to hate doing. 😂😂 Bring on the Christmas Joy 😊 xx." —Jade

Get it from The Jam Packed Jars on Etsy for $8.61+ (available as standard or with personalized tag).

The Jam Packed Jars is a woman-owned, UK-based small business that creates jars filled with activities, creative suggestions, and ideas for people looking for a little inspiration.

4. An erotic Advent calendar because adding a little adventure to the holidays is giving me X-rated Home Alone vibes if you know what I mean...

Adam & Eve

This kinky set delivers seven days of thrilling BDSM products, including sex dice, rope, and wrist cuffs, so you can add extra oomph to sexytime with your partner.

Get it from Adam & Eve for $79.95.

5. A sexy Advent calendar by Bijoux Indiscrets delivering 12 days of pleasure products and accessories, so you can count down to Christmas with an erotic twist.

Ella Paradis

This sweet and sexy set by Bijoux Indiscrets includes mesh and vinyl BDSM accessories and the iconic diamond-shaped external vibrator.

Promising review: "Stumbled across this from an ad and loved it so much, I bought one for my sister and one for myself. The jewelry pieces are fashion staples and really well made. You do not need to only wear as playtime — you can totally wear them out and nobody will recognize that they came from a sex shop. Two very happy sisters over here." —Heidi K.

Get it from Ella Paradis for $182.29 (originally $275.99).

6. An Advent calendar specifically created for penis-owners and bursting with a delectable assortment of strokers, rings, and plugs, so you or your O.H. can celebrate the holidays to the ~fullest~...

Lovehoney

Get it for yourself or your penis-packing partner and explore a little with these 12 days of gifts, including cock rings, strokers, and anal plugs. And a vibrating bullet is included to help bring some of these toys to life!

Promising review: "I didn’t know what to expect when I received this from Lovehoney, it comes in a nice blue, rectangular, advent type, Lovehoney logo box, and the lid opens to reveal 12 windows. :) The largest opening is number 12 and this is the main gift, which is rechargeable, all the others are a variety of sizes and are also worthwhile toys!

"I don’t want to give away too much what’s behind each door as that would ruin the surprise and the fun. The gifts vary from things that vibrate, anal toys, prostrate toys, rings, strokers, etc. The back of each window gives you a description/instructions about the toy as well! Perfect.

"I was pleasantly surprised by this advent calendar as everything is well made and I enjoyed opening each window to try them out. In my own opinion I would be using at least 10/12 things on a regular basis so I’m sure this box of goodies will appeal to all men one way or another. :) Love the idea and quality of this. :)" —Throbinhood

Get it from Lovehoney for $110.

7. An Advent calendar for vulva owners that's filled with 12 days of pleasurable goodies to make sure you or your S.O. is coming *at* home for Christmas.

Lovehoney

This calendar is PACKED with power, but the star of the show is the Starlet suction vibrator that'll change your life if you've never experimented with suction before. Along with that itty-bitty vibe are several plugs, a gently curved dildo, and a lot of accessories to help you build the anticipation of each day.

Promising review: "This Advent calendar completely took me by surprise and far exceeded my expectations. It would make a fantastic surprise gift for your partner. Opening the doors and seeing what treat lay behind each one is a great way to get the excitement going and spice things up. It gets your imagination racing with anticipation of wanting to try what you have just discovered. Unexpectedly, for me, the star of the show is the waterproof, rechargeable bullet vibrator as it can be used in so many ways and when paired with the G-spot sheath it gives me the most powerful orgasms! There is no fillers in here, every item can be used on its own or paired up with others in the box. The 12 items all compliment each other perfectly, both in appearance, color, quality, and in terms of practical use." —Goth_Girl

Get it from Lovehoney for $110.

8. An Advent calendar filled to the brim with sex toys and kinky accessories that'll have you singing — er, moaning — with pleasure by the 12th day of Christmas.

Amazon

This sexy set includes 12 days worth of gifts, including the OG Tracy's Dog dual stimulating vibrator, a couple's vibrator, BDSM accessories, and more.

Promising review: "Mind blowing in so many ways!!!!!! The best 'package' I have ever purchased!!! I told my fiancé he'd better step up his game or get replaced. 🤣🤣 The OG in the box will extract your soul and slam it back into your body. Everything inside is good quality." —Shawn

Get it from Amazon for $89.99.

9. An Advent calendar for couples looking to celebrate the holidays in a more memorable way this year with 24 days of pleasurable surprises to keep your "yule log" lit.

Lovehoney

And by "yule log"...I mean libido. Couples will love to explore this kit over 24 days (if you make it that far) that features various anal plugs, cock rings, a suction vibrator, a bullet vibrator, and BDSM accessories, so you can tease and please your way to the big finale.

Promising reviews: "We bought this mostly because it came with a nice sampling of toys we could try out. These toys are all good quality and I would say this is a good value for the price. The bullet vibrator is quite strong, rechargeable, and works in conjunction with several other items in the collection. The Womanizer is rechargeable and the wife loved it." —Anonymous

"My partner and I couldn’t wait to open up to see what surprises were in store! We were so excited and couldn’t wait everyday to open up just one." —Anonymous

Get it from Lovehoney for $199.

10. A scratch-off Advent calendar, so everyday you can reveal a new naughty or nice activity to do with you S.O. If you want to up the ante, it's completely customizable, so you can pick and choose how X-rated you want to be for the holidays.

The Laughing Sloth Wild / Etsy

This simple Advent calendar can also be purchased blank, so you can add in your own naughty (or nice) suggestions (they provide you with the scratch-off stickers to add when you're done), or you can customize the name and text at the top for a truly personal treat.

Scratch-off blowjobs is right up my alley...*adds to cart*

Promising reviews: "My partner loved this. I filled in the calendar myself and used the scratch stickers, which work really well. It was our first Christmas together so maybe it's a tradition now! 🙈😊" —Marianne

"Wonderful! This calendar was a huge hit! It's so fun and beautiful, and the name on top is a great touch. Highly recommend." —kathrynannesmith

Get it from The Laughing Sloth Wild on Etsy for $15.79+ (available in seven styles).

The Laughing Sloth Wild is a woman-owned, UK-based small business that specializes in alternative greeting cards, novelty scratch-offs, and personalized gift tags.

11. An Advent calendar by Nasty Gal boasting 12 days of naughty gifts and accessories, just in case you're too impatient to wait until the 25th to unwrap your holiday cheer.

Nasty Gal

The Sexmas kit has everything you could want, you just have to wait to get it. There's a tickler, sex dice, anal plug, and even a couple vibrators, among other pleasure products that are sure to have you screaming for more.

Get it from Nasty Gal for $135.60 (originally $339).

12. An instant-download naughty Advent calendar for all my last-minute gifters who are thinking, "TBH, what's a better gift than having sex with me?"

Love to Partay / Etsy

Print out this PDF and get busy with your partner — it can literally be posted on the fridge, so you never lose track of the days. Or, if you're feeling fancy, you can frame it! What's going on for day 15? Asking for a friend of mine, of course.

Get it from Love to Partay on Etsy for $4.50.

Love To Partay is a Black- and woman-owned business that creates printable party games for adult parties and holiday celebrations.

13. And finally, an erotic Advent calendar that absolutely won't fit underneath your tree thanks to its 4-foot-tall standalone design and 25 days' worth of sex toys and more.

Mega Pleasure

If you buy this, hug it for me, because it's literally almost my height. But more importantly, we won't spoil any surprises but expect a Lelo Sona Cruise, a glitter butt plug set, some BDSM gear and even a sex swing. There's no limit to the fun with this one.

Get it from Mega Pleasure for about $1,379.68 (plus about $17.92 for delivery outside of the UK and Europe).

OK, so I know what I'm doing for the holidays besides baking cookies...

NBC

The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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