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The Definitive Ranking Of Cookies, According To Santa

If I see another goddamn oatmeal raisin I swear to god I'll scream.

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14. Macarons

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I only get macarons from what I like to call "Pinterest households." Be honest with yourselves: These cookies are not really for me. They're for your dream boards and your Instagrams.

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8. Snickerdoodles

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Snickerdoodles are a great holiday cookie — I think it's the cinnamon. These are a great palate cleanser between your chocolate-ier and frosting-ier standbys.

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6. Ginger Snaps

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While not so jolly as their man-shaped counterparts, ginger snaps are a welcome addition to any Santa's cookie repertoire. Seasonal, spirited, and not too heavy.

5. Molasses

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In 1979 I was served a plate of molasses cookies so good I spent an hour ransacking the Barnard household looking for more, setting my delivery schedule off and ruining the Barnards' Christmas morning. It was worth it and I would do it again.

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2. Peanut Butter Blossoms

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Like I said: Feel free to really go nuts (lol) with the peanut butter based cookies. Throw some kisses on there and Papa Christmas will bring you anything you ask for.