Falling in love is easy. But staying in love can be a different story! Every relationship takes a little work and self-awareness to keep it strong.
Luckily for us, redditor u/Frozly recently posed the question, "What are common mistakes people make in a relationship?" So now, we know what to avoid in our own love lives!
Here are some of the best responses:
1. "Trying too hard to avoid potential arguments to avoid conflict rather than hashing it out before the issue becomes too big to handle."
2. "Labeling your partner the source of all your happiness and joy."
3. "It’s easy to get so comfortable in a relationship that you take it (or the other person) for granted."
4. "Not listening and being defensive. When your partner is upset about something you do, really listen to them. Resist the urge to always defend yourself. Take a pause. Evaluate and try to understand how something is making them feel."
5. "Assuming your partner should know what you want if they love you. I struggled early in our marriage because the women in my wife's family are big on this. We worked on it, and it took a bit, but we got to the point where we would only hold each other accountable to expressed words and thoughts. It has made all the difference in the world, and these 27 years of marriage have been mostly happy."
6. "Your S.O. is not your mother/father. If you cannot take care of yourself on your own, maybe you shouldn't try to have a relationship with someone."
7. "Keeping score. It's never going to be completely even; things ebb and flow. Both sides should feel like they're getting a fair shake overall, but if you keep track of every little thing, it's just going to guarantee that somebody is always 'losing.' It's not a competition."
8. "Being jealous about everything and everyone. Partners are not properties."
9. "Loving someone in your love language and not theirs."
10. "Codependency. You have to be comfortable with yourself, and you need your own interests, goals, and desires separate from your partner. Invest in yourself first!"
11. "If each of you is putting in 50% of the effort in everything, then you're both going to fall short. Instead, every time try giving it your 100%. Obviously, this is supposed to be mutual and goes both ways. And this is where communication comes into play. Live each day with the intention of making your partner proud."
12. "Stop hiding things from each other. Especially 'keeping things from each other for their own good.' Not only do they not know everything, you kept a secret, and now you have developed trust issues in your partner. If you are doing something or have a relationship that you don't want your partner to know about, that is a HUGE RED FLAG!!"
13. "I think having deal breakers in relationships are obviously good to set your standards, but I know so many people who have the most petty and dumb deal breakers that just result in them never willing to compromise or be satisfied. It's 100% okay to not have the same hobbies or be the exact same person. Variety is the spice of life."
14. And finally, "Not saying 'I'm sorry' or 'thank you.' Just because the person is with you doesn't mean that you shouldn't treat them as well as you would a stranger or someone who helps you out."
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.