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25 Things Way More Exciting Than The Royal Baby

The real issues we should be talking about.

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1. Squirrels fucking up cars.

Via imgur.com

2. Debating whether or not Captain Crunch is a real captain.

3. This family's new fridge.

4. An oversized Jacuzzi.

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5. The story of Stephen Giraldo.

6. A flashlight in the middle of the road in Phoenix, Arizona.

7. A hat in a tree.

8. Anything about the Ikea monkey.

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9. A video of a raccoon on an escalator.

10. A standoff between a cat and a bird.

11. A man being hit in the head with a dildo.

12. A fugitive that is a goat.

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13. A man licking dozens of taco shells.

Via ktla.com

14. The debate over Miss Piggy's weight.

15. A man running naked into a cactus.

16. A bear scratching its ass.

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17. The man who forgot his Cheez Whiz.

18. Whatever happened to this chihuahua.

19. Video of this.

Via upi.com

20. A Cheetos attack.

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21. A woman getting a new roof.

22. A follow up story on the boy from Boise.

23. The "ball tapping" epidemic.

Via wthr.com

24. The baby that was found in a sandwich.

25. And of course, the great Potato Chip Heist of 2011.