40.
Some dude robbed a store with a pair of shorts on his head.
39.
Some dude adopted his girlfriend.
38.
Busch Gardens allowed visitors to play tug-of-war with a tiger.
37.
These two guys killed their neighbor's pet turkey.
36.
God told this woman to drive 100mph.
35.
This 52-year-old woman rode a manatee...
...and was later arrested.
34.
The "Mystery Monkey" was caught.
33.
The Hulk Hogan sex tape happened.
32.
This giant mysterious eyeball washed up on a beach.
31.
A Fox News–obsessed man stabbed his wife because she didn't like Fox News.
30.
This dude shit his pants.
29.
This dude got a DUI with a squirrel in his shirt.
28.
A little girl got electrocuted and died FROM PLAYING MINI GOLF.
27.
A restaurant thought it was okay to have an item on its menu called the "Wetback Willie."
26.
These giant Gambian pouched rats infiltrated the Florida Keys.
25.
There was a fight over HARMONICAS.
24.
A woman called the cops because she didn't know where to pee in the woods.
23.
Young people drank hand sanitizer.
22.
A man got a DUI on his lawnmower.
21.
A guy died from eating roaches.
20.
This old man allowed his grandson to get a tattoo.
17.
A mother and daughter became porn moguls.
16.
A man got violent over garlic knots.
15.
A fish attacked a teacher.
14.
This guy was arrested:
13.
A goat broke a world record.
12.
These two got in a violent fight over taco sauce.
11.
A man attacked three women with a sword and a sandwich.
10.
A woman attacked a man with ice cream.
9.
This mom bit her daughter over a Rihanna CD.
5.
Raccoons peed on students.
4.
A ninja robber terrorized the state.
3.
This guy ate another guy's arm.
2.
This guy ate another guy's face.
1.
And a woman had her butthole tattooed.