2.
Back when our court room battles and custody hearings were over Beanie Babies.
3.
Like seriously, people lost their shit over little beaded animals named Peanut the Elephant.
4.
When we treated our Tamagotchis like children.
5.
I'm not kidding, this was a Tamagotchi cemetery. RIP random electronic.
7.
Which was, honestly, questionable.
8.
Back when Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez battled it out at Blockbuster, probably over a "new release" being out of stock.
9.
When these two Russian women "pretended" to be lesbians.
10.
And when multiple cameramen were hired to take pictures of Spice Girls dolls.
11.
When Paul Rudd did chin nubbin' with angular side burns.
12.
And when Leonardo DiCaprio proudly proclaimed he was a Twix Man.
13.
Back when couples pretended to date.
14.
When these two were every suburban 12-year-old's celebrity crush.
15.
And when our socialites proudly wore graphic tees about cocaine.
16.
Back when our boy bands dressed in carnival clothes.
17.
When "bird shit couture" was in fashion.
18.
And when all that really mattered was Chris Kirkpatrick's hair journey.
19.
Back when Aaron Carter grinded in between a Kelly and Beyoncé sandwich.
20.
When opposites really attracted.
21.
And weird + random friendships were abundant.
22.
Back when Jason Momoa was living his twink fantasy.
23.
When Rihanna posed with tins of popcorn so she could get them for free.
24.
And when Zac Efron's hair was always wistfully blowing in the wind.
25.
Back when celebrities would go to gifting suites and pose with digital cameras.
26.
When our football players were real athletes.
27.
And the "talk to the manager" haircut wasn't only for Karens.
28.
Back when clown hats were couture.
29.
When Clay Aiken's "Claymates" were the horniest fanbase.
30.
And when all that mattered was what Joe Jonas was doing with his hair.
31.
Back when these square computers with transparent insides were the shit.
32.
When Leelee Sobieski was supposed to be the next big thing.
33.
And when Mary-Kate and Ashley wore floor-length denim skirts and had that flippy early '00s haircut.
34.
Back when our politicians straight-up Frenched in public.
35.
When Charlize Theron had these bangs.
36.
And when grown men proudly stood on wagons saying, "Give me a ride!"
37.
Back when thongs were built into clothing.
38.
When American flag fashion was *the* hottest trend.
39.
And when it was OK to break boundaries, or in Lance's case, a whole-ass mirror.
40.
Back when tweens stood outside of MTV studios for hours with questionable signs.
41.
When people wore jeans under dresses.
42.
And when all we really wanted was Gordo to end up with Lizzie.
43.
Back when jeans were held up with strings.
44.
When everyone played tennis together.
45.
And MTV Spring Break was the highlight of every March.
46.
Back when full-on denim outfits were in style.
47.
Back when flip phones were a flex.
48.
Like, taking a picture like this was the epitome of cool.
49.
When we spent hours making collages from magazines like this:
50.
And when people wore large ski goggles when they weren't skiing.
51.
Back when it was all about leather chaps.
52.
When men didn't wear shirts under their clothes.
53.
Like, this was THE look:
54.
And when generic dad ties were suddenly the hottest fashion accessory.
55.
Back when Fred Durst photo ops were a thing.
56.
When Disney Channel original movie stars like Erik von Detten were the biggest stars.
57.
And when you could wear anything on a red carpet because people just kind of blindly dressed themselves back then.
58.
Back when we all wanted a Lalaine to our Lizzie.
59.
When Avril was a Spanx ambassador.
60.
And when boy bands wore reflective tape as if they were human bicycles.
61.
Back when Kim was basically Paris's assistant.
62.
When Kim would watch Paris chug energy drinks.
63.
When Paris made Kim hold up stuffed kangaroos so the paparazzi could take pictures of her kissing it.
64.
And when the two would just kind of stare at babies for the photos.
65.
Back when disposable cameras really were the only option and not an aesthetic choice.
66.
When Times Square really was the center of the world.
67.
And when Juicy was truly *the* status symbol.
68.
Back when Destiny's Child wore sexy Girl Scout uniforms to the Kid's Choice Awards.
69.
When all hair was crimped.
70.
And last but not least, when Anne Hathaway wore large clown ties.
In conclusion, take me back to that America because I'm getting too old for this shit.
