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These 33 Pics Will Completely Change The Way You Feel About Figure Skating

"Oh my goooooodness!" —You, after reading this post

Some people think figure skating is some foofy poofy sport where you gracefully skate across ice and dance in sparkles or whatever. I am here to tell you that is FALSE. Yes, there are dope, sparkly outfits...but *Oprah voice* THE TRUTH IS that can't be further from the...truth!

Harpo

1. Just look right here...

Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images

2. ...SHE IS TWO INCHES FROM HER IMMINENT, ICY DOOM.

AFP / Getty Images

3. This. THIS. She could literally BELLYFLOP on ICE.

Atsushi Tomura / Getty Images

4. And like, dude, hold your arms out. SHE CAN'T FLY.

AFP / Getty Images

5. Also, holy my cannoli...

Geoff Robins / AFP / Getty Images

6. ...GIRL, BE CAREFUL!

AFP / Getty Images

7. Sorry, but I DO NOT trust this guy.

Atsushi Tomura / Getty Images

8. Get outta there!

AFP / Getty Images

9. Get down from there!

AFP / Getty Images

10. Wait, you guys, SHE IS LITERALLY CLIMBING ON HIM WITH SKATES. *Shaking a bit*

AFP / Getty Images

11. She's basically crying out for help, people. HELP HER.

AFP / Getty Images

12. There is so much happening here I am NOT comfortable with. Y'all are crazy!

AFP / Getty Images

13. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

AFP / Getty Images

14. WHY?!

AFP / Getty Images

15. DON'T DO IT!!!

AFP / Getty Images

16. Frankly, this is NOT going to end nicely.

AFP / Getty Images

17. WHERE IS HIS HEAD?!

AFP / Getty Images

18. IT'S LIKE SHE WANTS TO DIE.

Tim Bradbury / Getty Images

19. "This is lovely." —Skater almost dying

Tim Bradbury / Getty Images

20. I'M SORRY, but you are just asking for a thumb jam doing that!

Mandy Cheng / AFP / Getty Images

21. *Grandma voice* BE CAREFUL!

AFP / Getty Images

22. *Whoopi voice* "Girl, you in danger."

AFP / Getty Images

23. PICK HER UP.

AFP / Getty Images

24. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

AFP / Getty Images

25. NO NO NO.

AFP / Getty Images

26. "I deeply regret this, I think." —Her

AFP / Getty Images

27. WHAT IN TARNATION?!

AFP / Getty Images

28. HER FACE SAYS IT ALL.

AFP / Getty Images

29. As this little British boy doll famously once said, "Oy, mista. You me dad?!"

AFP / Getty Images

30. BREATHE, MAN. JUST BREATHE!!!

AFP / Getty Images

31. YOU DO REALIZE THAT'S A BLADE, RIGHT?!?!

AFP / Getty Images

32. IT'S LIKE HE GETS A SICK PLEASURE FROM IT.

Atsushi Tomura / Getty Images

33. *Rose on the raft voice* "Don't let go." —Her

Atsushi Tomura / Getty Images

In conclusion, wowowowow. SHEESH MCGEESH. Figure skating is crazy, right?!

Harpo Productions

Update: This post was updated to provide context about that goofy British doll.

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