1. SOUND THE HOT WHITE DUDE WITH DREADS THAT ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD WITH DREADS ALARM.
2. SOS ALERT. SOS ALERT.
This is some Titanic-level shit.
3. Ladies, gay men, and lovers of beautiful, fine things: Kyle Beckerman.
4. Kyle Beckerman has increased the thirst for hot white dudes with dreads times about a thousand in the past week.
7. He’s made watching the World Cup way more enjoyable for just about everyone because of his fine aesthetic and hot-ass self.
8. As you know, Kyle is a rarity when it comes to white dudes with dreads because he looks hot.
9. A cool thing about Kyle is that when he sweats his shirt sticks to his body.
10. Another cool thing about Kyle is his shirtless, unclothed back.
12. And you know what, I just realized he kind of looks like Andrew Garfield, which is like, “YES PLEASE. I’LL TAKE THREE!”
13. His thigh game is nice as well.
14. And his tattoo game is quite swell.
15. So, Kyle, I have only one more wish for you.
16. Stay hot, my bedreadled white prince.
17. Win those games or whatever you do.
18. And please, please. We all beg of you. Take it and keep it off.