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72 Things That Are Definitely Better Than Oprah's 72 Favorite Things

Oprah released her list of 72 of her favorite things from 2014. This is our list. It's better.

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If you didn't already know, Oprah still releases a list of her most absolute favorite things. As usual, it's mostly overpriced shit you can never afford. So, here's an alternative of real useful shit.

1. A Danny Devito stamp: $25

7. A grappling hook: $17.58

8. An itty-bitty sad Keanu: $24.95

9. A blowgun with darts: $13.95

10. A portable Altoids speaker: $30

14. A tie with a hidden flask: $24.99

15. Salt made from human tears: ~$52

16. An Oreo dipping spoon: $3.99

18. A pillow shaped like an arm: $28.85

20. A big ol' digeridoo: $29.99

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21. A goatee-shaving guide: $19.99

23. A Ben & Jerry's pint lock: $24.99

24. A shit list: $9.99

26. A shot spinner: $8.65

27. A bowl with feet: $28

28. A self-stirring mug: $4.95

29. A pizza cone maker: $21.99

34. Swedish Fish soap: $6

35. A tiny crown pin: $10

36. A bag of dicks: $17

37. This Lego clock: $32.55

38. Teeth for your dog: $14.99

39. A message from hell: $5

46. A pouring guide: $54

47. A campfire panini maker: $25.99

50. Edible gold spray paint: $12.99

51. Lazy glasses: $15

52. Lego men ice tray: $11.79

53. A fondue mug: $15

55. A smartphone projector: $27

61. A remote control TV wand: $89.98

62. A horse-head squirrel feeder: $15

65. Peanut butter maker: $79.18

66. An emotional Drake necklace: $10

67. Scented duct tape: $7.40

68. A leaning bookend: $12.82

69. A money-eating face bank: $14.95

70. A zamboni desk vacuum: $14.94

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The best things at three price points