The following is, in order, the best Britney Spears moments of 2017. Enjoy.
50.When she stalked Cameron Diaz's Instagram, reposted a 42-week-old picture of her cherry tomatoes, and came out as a "Something About Mary" fan.
49.When she modeled this dress and made her dog feel like a slob.
"I am a slob."
48.Every time she made me feel like a slob.
47.Just like, when she posted this meme.
46.When she showed off her tiny bed collection.
45.When she showed off her tiny Laz-E-Boy collection.
44.When she stole this meme from my 81-year-old grandmother's hidden Pinterest page.
43.When she wanted to steal these Thai children.
42.When she paid tribute to all of those lost on the Titanic.
41.When she somehow stumbled across this iconic image on Google image search.
40.When she took this picture.
39.When she took this picture.
38.When she ended addiction.
37.When she was like, "Jesus, who's that? It's Britney bitch."
36.When she posted a picture next to a horse with the caption "LOVE IS BLIND" and everyone was wondering if they were fucking.
35.When she posted a picture of her backyard and it made me feel both worthless and poor but also happy because Britney deserves a backyard this nice.
34.When she lost her fucking mind over a Lucky Charms latte. Like, this is how she captioned a damn Lucky Charms latte: "Unbelievable idea. I mean, how come I didn’t think of that?!?! Lucky charmed latte.... just sensational!"
33.When she wanted to commit to chocolate.
32.When she made a grilled cheese that was kind of shaped like a heart.
31.Just like, this.
30.When she posted a picture of clouds...
...with this caption:
29.When she wore this 2009 top for the 30th time.
28.When she ended Chip & Joanna Gaines' career by posting this video rearranging her hotel room.
27.When she posted a picture of random Renaissance children.
26.The other time she posted a picture of random Renaissance children.
25.And also the time she posted a picture of a random Renaissance child and a random Renaissance dog.
24.When she had this photo shoot with her hot piece of ass boyfriend.
23.Just the fact that she wakes up to this every day.
22.Whenever Yoganey Boobney made an appearance.
21.When she stood on her balcony in this "boss" shirt.
20.The time she went to Hawaii and wore this pink swimsuit and made me feel worthless and pathetic because I look like a potato and she looks like this.
19.When she posted 103 pictures from this photo shoot.
18.Every time she breathed, just like in general.
17.When she wrote a letter to all her gay boys.
16.When shitty Katy Perry made a shitty comment about shaving her head and Britney ended her career and the Witness era with a verse from the Bible.
15.The Asia tour.
14.When over 56,000 people saw her in Tel Aviv.
13.When she covered Elvis and he was just sitting there smiling whilst rotting in his grave.
12.When she donated all these vans to help people affected by the hurricanes.
11.When her and Mariah made the Yalta Conference irrelevant and old.
10.Every single time she killed the stage in Vegas... and the fact that she finally got the credit she deserves for revolutionizing the music industry. Lady Gaga shaking.
9.Every single time she was happy and healthy with hot-ass boyfriend, Sam.
8.Every single time she was happy and healthy with her boys <3
7.When she donated $1 of every ticket to Louisiana schools.
6.When she painted, tits out, her masterpiece "Flowers & Squiggles" and forced the MOMA into foreclosure because it was suddenly irrelevant.
5.When she donated her "Flowers & Squiggles" painting to charity.
4.When she used her platform for the right thing.
3.When she opened the Britney Spears Children's Cancer Campus in Las Vegas.
2.Every. Single. Time. she held a runway show in her house.
1.And lastly, when she gave us something to fucking talk about.