• Viral badge

11 Celebrities Who Are Child Free And The Legitimately Funny Reasons Why They Decided To Never Have Kids

Because believe it or not, not everyone wants to have kids.

Seth Rogen is one of only a handful of celebs who are proudly child free.

seth rogen and his wife at screen actors guild awards

Seth is outspoken on the topic and recently told the Diary of a CEO podcast his reasons for remaining child free.

seth rogen

"You just are told: you go through life, you get married, you have kids. That’s what happens. Me and my wife, neither of us were like that. Honestly, the older we get, the more happy and reaffirmed we are with our choice to not have kids," he said.

seth rogen

"Me and my wife seem to get a lot more active enjoyment out of not having kids than anyone I know seems to get out of."

seth rogen and his wife

So because this is an evergreen topic, let's look at some of my favorite reasons why celebrities decided to never have kids...

1. Stevie Nicks blamed PTA meetings.

stevie nicks

She told InStyle, "It's like, do you want to be an artist and a writer, or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes. I don't want to go to PTA meetings."

stevie nicks in 1985

2. Keanu Reeves has a more blunt reasoning.

keanu reeves

When asked by Esquire in 2017 if he was ever going to settle down, Keanu said, "I'm 52. I'm not going to have any kids."

keanu reeves

3. Seth Rogen's reason he told Howard Stern was a *bit* more racy.

seth rogen

He said (via the Independent), "I don’t know anyone who gets as much happiness out of their kids as we get out of our non-kids. Like, we’re fucking psyched all the time!"

seth rogen waving at the Emmy Awards

"We’re laying in bed on Saturday mornings smoking weed, watching movies naked. If we had kids, we could not be fucking doing this.”

seth rogen

4. Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham brought up puppies.

oprah winfrey and stedman graham

Oprah told Good Housekeeping UK, "I didn’t want babies. I wouldn’t have been a good mom for babies. I don’t have the patience. I have the patience for puppies but that’s a quick stage!"

stedman graham and oprah winfrey

5. Jane Wagner and Lily Tomlin have their own reasons.

jane wagner and lily tomlin

Lily told Metro Weekly: "God only knows what I would have done with them, poor things. I really do like kids but there wouldn’t have been room in my life to raise children."

jane wagner and lily tomlin

6. Ricky Gervais compares having kids to having a cat.

ricky gervais

He told Ellen DeGeneres (via Hello! magazine), "I'd worry sick about a baby. I have a cat and I worry about that. I check the door three times before I go out. I put food and water in every room in case the door closes and he's peckish for 20 minutes."

ricky gervais

7. Sarah Paulson brings up cobwebs...

sarah paulson

Sarah said in the past, "I don’t know. I’m getting a little old, so there’s cobwebs going on in them ovaries."

sarah paulson in a diamond-studded dress at a gala

8. Brendon Urie, uh, blamed other people's kids.

Brendon Urie

In a 2015 Periscope, Brendon and his wife Sarah said they didn't want a child.

Brendon and his wife smiling

He joked on a Twitch stream, "I think your kid sucks. You think your kid's a superstar and a genius; I think they're dumb."

View this video on YouTube


9. Anjelica Huston was just really real about it.

Anjelica Huston

She told the Guardian: "I would probably have been miserable."

Anjelica Huston

10. Tracee Ellis Ross says she just has too much to do.

Tracee Ellis Ross

She told Marie Claire, "Our society spoon-feeds it to you. I used to put myself to sleep dreaming of my wedding and I would still love all of that, but what am I going to do? Just sit around waiting? Shut up. I’ve got so many things to do.”

Tracee Ellis Ross

11. And lastly, Helen Mirren gave one of my favorite answers...

Helen Mirren

She told British Vogue (via Vanity Fair), "[Motherhood] was not my destiny. I kept thinking it would be, waiting for it to happen, but it never did, and I didn’t care what people thought. ... It was only boring old men [who would ask me].”

Helen Mirren