Disclaimer: This checklist isn’t an exhaustive / comprehensive outline of what constitutes sexual harassment. It’s meant to be an exercise to get people thinking about the kinds of behavior that are sometimes normalized but do in fact constitute harassment.
Looked at her in a way that made her visibly uncomfortable.Looked at her breasts while talking to her."Stolen" a kiss.Followed a woman you're interested in, even if you don't know her.Spied on an ex in any capacity. (Including "cyberstalking.")Spied on a girlfriend in any capacity. (Including "cyberstalking.")Made a comment about her body when she didn't ask you to.Touched a woman you know without her consent.Touched a woman you don't know without her consent.Took photos of her without her knowledge or consent.Shared intimate pictures that she sent you, without her consent.Threatened to share intimate pictures that she sent you.Insisted on asking her out, even though she already said no.Tried to hook up even though she may have been too intoxicated to consent.Manipulated her into sleeping with you.Asked about her sex life, unprompted.Threatened a girlfriend so that she won't end the relationship.Forbade her from going to certain places.Forbade her for wearing certain kinds of clothes.Forbade her from talking to specific people.Told someone she was harassed because of the way she dresses.Offered her a job just because she's hot.Tried to hook up with her and only stopped when you found out that she had a boyfriend.Failed to get explicit consent before sexual contact.Made sexual remarks about a woman with your friends.Told women who say they're harassed every day that they're exaggerating.Felt betrayed when a woman you go out with doesn't end up sleeping with you.Tried to hook up with one of your students.Tried to hook up with one of your employees.Tried to use your position of power to hook up with someone.Apologized to a man for flirting with his girlfriend.Encouraged two women to kiss.Inappropriately touched someone you're dancing with without her explicit consent.Believed that a woman is a slut based on the number of sexual partners she's had.Sent her a picture of your genitals when she did not ask for it.Blamed alcohol for your behavior around women.Kept your mouth shut about a friend who has abused someone.Sent her a link to a porn video without her asking for it.
If You've Done Any Of These Things, It Counts As Harassment
The fact that you've never done any of the things on this list is admirable. You're clearly a great ally, because you go to great lengths to check other people's behavior on top of your own. You've got a good head on your shoulders.
In the US, 1 in 6 women will experience an attempted or completed rape in their lifetimes, and a 2015 survey showed that 1 in 3 women have been sexually harassed at work. If you checked at least one of the boxes listed above, you've engaged in behaviors that, to a greater or lesser extent, have made women feel uncomfortable and in danger. Examining and eliminating these behaviors can help you improve your relationship with women but, above all, it will help create nonhostile environments where women can live without fear of being themselves.
This post was translated from Spanish.
References to explicitly illegal activities have been removed from this checklist.