24 Things That Happen Every Time You Get Drunk
Walk into the club like, "what up I have to leave I think I just saw my ex".
When you're so amped to go out but it's only 7pm and the club isn't even open.
When you know your crush is going to be out tonight so you spend ages on your look.
When you're making pre-drink margaritas for your squad and you're really feeling it.
And it leads to weird, fucked up drinking games.
When that first margarita hits and you start seeing double.
When you've got that one mate who says they're not coming out so you stop by their place on your way out.
When you walk into the club and your ex is at the bar and you're like "nope, bye".
But then your mates make you pull your shit together and go back in.
When you notice your crush on the d-floor and immediately get sweaty palms.
When the club's bathroom has perfect selfie lighting.
When you want the DJ to play your fave song but they're not taking requests.
When you see another hottie on the dance floor and you start planning your future together.
When your song finally comes on but you're too drunk to realise you're the only one dancing.
When the bartender refuses to serve you so you make a big show of drinking more water.
When you're trying to play it cool in the cab on the way home but really all you want to do is vomit.
When you arrive home and getting in to your own house is the biggest struggle of the night.
When you finally get inside and you're like, "shit I need a shower" but you can't figure how to use anything.
When the feng shui of your house feels off and fixing it is the most important thing you could be doing at 3am.
But then halfway through you realise you don't have the energy for this shit.
So you turn on TV and spend 30 minutes watching late night infomercials.
When you're half asleep and you realise you forgot to text your friends that you're home safe.
When you're hungover AF the next day and all you've got are Cheez-Its and a lack of hand-eye coordination.
So you decide to go out to get a pizza but it feels like your own personal Everest.
And then you have to spend the rest of the day near the bathroom in case you need to do a hungover vom.
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