1. “A remote control buffalo”
Some kid’s dreams are very specific.
2. “A new liver”
The boy who asked for this was healthy, but wanted a liver to “play with and stuff.”
3. “To destroy all Backstreet Boys CDs”
Santa: “Tell me why?”
Was this kid building a time machine in the backyard?
6. “A ‘penis’ book”
This request came from a little guy who had trouble pronouncing “Peanuts.”
Actually, I’m totally onboard with this one.
9. “Nicole Scherzinger”
This kid’s dad was like, “Good one!”
11. “To change my name to Batman”
This kid’s teacher after Christmas: “Yes, Batman, you may go to the bathroom.”
14. “A live penguin and polar bear”
This kid told Santa she was planning on keeping them in her backyard.
16. “A flying pony”
Whatever happened to just asking for a regular pony?
19. “A live cobra”
Santa: “I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking sleigh!”
20. “A Nordstrom’s gift card”
This one came from a very sophisticated 7-year-old.
21. “To know how elves reproduce”
Well, when one elf really loves another elf…
23. “For the neighbor lady to stop coming over when my mom is at work”
25. “Boobs like mommy”
Santa probably can’t come through on this one this year, but if you just wait…
26. “To have some hair down there”
Ditto on this one, kid.
- Immigrants are worried two government memos are laying the groundwork for the deportation force Trump promised on the campaign trail.
- A federal judge ruled that Texas can't cut Planned Parenthood out of its Medicaid program.
- According to the World Bank, a child born in 2014, on average, will live for more than 71 years.
- A 2-year-old boy lost a race at school after he spotted his dad and ran to hug him instead of crossing the finish line 👦💨💞