Parents·Posted on Dec 2, 201426 Weird Things Kids Have Asked Mall Santas ForThe people of Reddit asked mall Santas to share their biggest WTF moments.by Mike SpohrBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. “A remote control buffalo” TONY KARUMBA/AFP / Getty Images Some kid's dreams are very specific. 2. "A new liver" 20th Century Fox The boy who asked for this was healthy, but wanted a liver to “play with and stuff.” 3. "To destroy all Backstreet Boys CDs" Jive Records Santa: "Tell me why?" 4. "A unicorn that poops rainbows" Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF mylittlegamedev.com To be fair, if you’re going to ask for a mythical creature you might as well ask for one that poops rainbows. 5. "Plutonium" Universal Pictures Was this kid building a time machine in the backyard? 6. "A 'penis' book" Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF United Feature Syndicate This request came from a little guy who had trouble pronouncing "Peanuts." 7. "A fax machine" images2.newscred.com Granted, the kid asked for this in 1989, but it's still weird. 8. "Lasagna" Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Film Roman/Paws, Inc. Actually, I'm totally onboard with this one. 9. "Nicole Scherzinger" Joel Ryan/Invision / AP This kid's dad was like, "Good one!" 10. "A live octopus or shark" Flickr: ddfic / Via Creative Commons This kid added that, in lieu of an octopus or shark, he’d settle for a giant squid. 11. "To change my name to Batman" Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Warner Bros. This kid's teacher after Christmas: "Yes, Batman, you may go to the bathroom." 12. "An 8-Track Player" Flickr: rufflife / Via Creative Commons The cool kids listen to vinyl, but the really cool kids listen to 8-track. (Not really.) 13. "A gallon jar of pickles" Flickr: grongar / Via Creative Commons Um, okay. 14. "A live penguin and polar bear" Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Twentieth Century Fox This kid told Santa she was planning on keeping them in her backyard. 15. "A box of condoms" Flickr: dno1967b / Via Creative Commons This request came from a little boy of 8 or 9 whose mom wouldn’t buy him a box. Mooom!!!! 16. "A flying pony" Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Disney Whatever happened to just asking for a regular pony? 17. "A penis" Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF imgur.com This came from a five-year-old girl who wanted to be able to pee standing up. 18. "A lifetime supply of peanut butter so my dog will lick my face forever" Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com This kid should probably play less with the dog, and more with other kids. 19. "A live cobra" takeo1775/takeo1775 Santa: "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking sleigh!" 20. "A Nordstrom's gift card" Nordstrom This one came from a very sophisticated 7-year-old. 21. “To know how elves reproduce” Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF New Line Cinema Well, when one elf really loves another elf... 22. “Wots of fucks” Flickr: joanet / Via Creative Commons The mall Santa who heard this one eventually realized the kid was saying, “Lots of trucks.” 23. “For the neighbor lady to stop coming over when my mom is at work” Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF AMC Awkward. 24. “A gumball machine filled with avocados” Flickr: barron / Via Creative Commons Don't eat the cookies at this house, Santa. 25. “Boobs like mommy" Columbia Pictures Santa probably can't come through on this one this year, but if you just wait... 26. “To have some hair down there” Dreamworks Television Ditto on this one, kid.