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18 Really Messed-Up Things Assholes Said At Family Thanksgivings

It's the old people you need to look out for the most.

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2. “I had recently come out to my 95-year-old grandma, who doesn't quite get being gay. After a few drinks she asked everyone at the table, ‘But how do they do it? Do they take it up the ass?’”

3. “My mom was raving about how Starbucks now serves almond milk when my sister’s boyfriend — who we were meeting for the first time — looked my mom in the eye and said, ‘You wanna know my favorite kind of milk? Breast milk.’”


4. "It was the first Thanksgiving after my mom passed away, and during the toast we went around saying nice things about her and how we wished she could still be there with us. My see-you-next-Tuesday of a grandmother rolled her eyes and said 'UGH, we’re really still hung up on this?!'”

6. “I’ve been using your photos to catfish guys!”

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"I was at my ex's family's and her family got really drunk. My ex's aunt admitted that for the last two years she’d been using my ex's pictures to catfish guys. Her aunt weighed probably 300 plus and was super gross. Needless to say, it got very awkward and we left shortly after."


7. "I’m a straight-A student, and my aunt gave me a lecture on why I should aim to get bad grades. Her reasons included ‘It would make me more attractive to guys,’ ‘Smart girls are an abomination,’ and ‘Studying makes girls have hysteria.’”


8. “My mom said, ‘I think it would be nice if we took turns saying what we’re thankful for this year.’ My grandpa snapped back, ‘I think it would be nice if you shut the fuck up and let us eat in peace.’”


15. “My grandfather put his hand on my new boyfriend’s shoulder and said, ‘White people eat first.’ I have never been more embarrassed or angry. Thankfully, he thought it was a joke and we’re married now. My husband is Brazilian.”


16. “My (very opinionated) grandmother walked into my parents' living room and announced, 'That rug is an abortion!' My dad said, 'Mom, don't you mean abomination?' She said, 'No, I know what I said. It's an abortion!'”

17. “'Just because you're a Democrat doesn't mean we'll kick you out of the family, haha. Unless you're gay, then we might just have to!' As a closeted lesbian, that wasn't the most fun thing to hear.”

Some answers have been condensed for length and clarity.