We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about a time they gave a fake excuse and it blew up in their face. The responses were about as cringey as possible:
1. "My boyfriend told his job he was having Lasik eye surgery so he could get out of working a busy weekend. But — since he didn’t actually get the surgery — it backfired on him because he wasn’t able to wear his glasses to work for the rest of his time there."
2. "In college, I forgot my professor was giving an exam and skipped class. She wouldn’t allow me back to take the exam without an official university excuse, so I typed up a fake doctor’s note and took it to the lady who writes up the university excuses. THIS LADY HAD THE GALL TO CALL THE DOCTOR WHILE I WAS STANDING THERE."
3. "A co-worker I wasn't interested in being friends with outside of work invited me to do something and I immediately said, 'Oh, sorry, I can't make it. I have plans.' She responded, 'But I didn't tell you when it was yet.' Cringe."
4. "A co-worker called in sick to work, then later she posted pictures of herself and her younger sister at a concert. The manager asked her and she said it wasn't the same night, but Google told another story."
5. "I was late for a test and my professor was not the type to allow you to come in late. So, I emailed him and said my house had been broken into and the cops were there. He emailed back asking for the police report."
6. "A co-worker who was always missing work took time off claiming she had to get a cyst removed from her knee. When she came back she was limping around, so someone asked to see how bad the scar was. She said she couldn't take the bandage off, but still pulled up her pant leg to show them her knee. Well, as she pulled up her pants the big-ass bandage came off too, and wouldn't you know it! There was no scar!"
7. "I was on the bus back from visiting my girlfriend in Boston when the man next to me asked me what I'd been doing there. I didn’t know if he was homophobic or not, so I didn’t bring up my girlfriend — instead, I panicked and lied that I'd been looking at medical schools. Turns out, he was a doctor."
"I had to bullshit my way through 45 minutes of conversation about my ambitions to become a doctor. And at the end? I found out he was going home to his husband!"
8. "When I was in middle school, my close friend was a huge churchgoer. She and her family were always trying to get me to go with them even though I wasn’t religious. I started to run out of excuses, and eventually I said I had a doctor's appointment...on a Sunday."
9. "I called in sick to work to go to a university volleyball game. Unbeknownst to me, the game was televised — and I was sitting directly behind the serving line."
"Every time a player served, there I was in the background, munching on garlic fries and drinking beer. My boss asked me the next day how my migraine 'worked out' because the bright lights and noise at the gym didn't seem to bother me."
10. "I lied to my supervisor that I was late because my car battery died and I had to get a jump from roadside assistance. A month later, my car battery ACTUALLY died and I got a jump from a guy in my apartment complex. Later that day I told my supervisor about it, commenting that I'd never had to have a jump before and was surprised at how fast it took. Oops."
11. "When I was little I hated jam, but they used to give us a jam sandwich for lunch at school. So, I complained to my mom who lied to the school that I couldn't eat it. Well, they assumed that meant I couldn't eat sugar-y things — which was a bummer during birthday parties when I wasn't allowed to eat any cake."
12. "One day I called in sick to work and went into town to have a tanning session. As I walked in the door, I saw a girl who worked at the same place I did. Oops. She then informed me that she'd just been named my new manager. Needless to say I didn’t work there for much longer."
13. "During the winter in the 8th grade the temperatures were way below 10°. I didn't want to take the bus to and from school in those conditions, so I faked being sick for three days straight. My worried mom eventually said she was taking me to the ER, and I couldn't bring myself to admit I wasn't sick. So, I sat in the hospital hooked to an IV for three days and got two CAT scans before they decided I was fine."
14. "I called in sick to work, but in reality went to a protest to support education. Unfortunately, I got a horrible sunburn at the protest, and it was very hard to explain the next day why 'sick me' was so sunburned."
15. "When I was 18 years old I told my work that my grandmother had passed away so I could go to a concert. When I went back to work, the entire staff had bought and signed a sympathy card for me. I felt like the absolute biggest piece of trash in the world. I've never killed off another grandparent or used any stupid excuses in my adult life after that."
16. "My wife once called in sick to work on the Monday after a pretty heavy gay pride weekend. Her cat had just had kittens so she gave her boss the fake excuse that one of the kittens was sick and she needed to take it to the vet. Her suspicious boss said, 'Ok, well, just make sure to bring in the vet's bill tomorrow.'"
17. "My brother-in-law had a cruise planned for several months when he was offered a much better job, so he immediately took it without asking any questions. Turns out the job had a 'probationary period' where he couldn't miss ANY days for ANY reason for the first 90 days."
"So, in his infinite wisdom, he told his boss that his father had died and he was going to have to be gone for at least a week to make arrangements. Well, guess who he runs into at the pursers desk on the first day on the cruise? His brand new boss. Needless to say he had no job when he got back home."
Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.