If you proudly rep your Hogwarts House and always wished you could cast your own spells, chances are you're a diehard Harry Potter fan.
For us Muggles, the magic of Harry Potter is as enchanting as the memes and jokes that were inspired by the film.
We've rounded up some of the best ones that'll make every HP fan crack a smile. Check them out below:
1. "Why can't Harry tell the difference between a cooking pot and his best friend? Because they're both cauldron."
2. "What type of drink does Snape hate the most? Jameson."
3. "So, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I guess that's when the books started getting...dead Sirius."
4. "How do the Malfoys enter a building? They Slytherin."
6. "Why isn't Snape a Herbology teacher? He can't keep Lilys alive."
7. "Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad teacher? Because he can’t control his pupils."
8. "One day Lupin decides to come clean with Harry. He sits him down and tells him 'Harry, I'm a werewolf'. Harry jumps up and starts shouting, 'WHAT!? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?' Lupin sighs, hangs his head and mumbles, 'Ah yes, that too.'"
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So true 📚😂
10. "What fuel does Harry Potter put in his car? Expecto Petrolium!"
11. "Voldemort's parents took the 'I got your nose' game a bit too seriously."
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Dad joke to start your week: What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to go down a hill? Walking! Jk Rolling
13. "How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? With quit-itch."
14. "How do you get a mythical creature into your house? Through the Gryffindor!"
15. "Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? Because it was making him Moody."
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17. "What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord? A Volt-demort."
18. "What do you call the entrance to a magical gym? A dumbbell door."
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ron weasley harry potter
20. "Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding? Because he didn't expect-no-patrol-man."
21. "What did Voldemort tell Wormtail when they went bowling? Kill the spare."
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23. "Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you'll never know which side he's on."
25. "Where did Dumbledore keep his army? Up his sleevey."
27. "One a scale of one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? About nine and three quarters."
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29. "Lily and James Potter are having a heated debate. He says 'Are you fucking serious?' She replies, 'No. I am fucking SEVERUS!'"
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Draco Malfoy preparing himself to say ‘Potter’ in all the ‘Harry Potter’ movies
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people say the worst part of harry potter is the really long bit of them camping in the woods but actually it's when Hagrid explains there are 29 knuts to a sickle and 17 sickles to a galleon. just an absurd currency system. complete dogshit
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i don’t get how people can say harry potter is fake. like just watch the movies they literally caught everything on film
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Death Eater: why don’t you just go and kill Harry Potter now? Voldemort: before …before the end of the school year? wtf?
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albus dumbledore adding some points in the last minute for gryffindor because harry potter just breathed https://t.co/upuPkc0LnC
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why does harry potter need glasses. there’s no spell to fix his eyes? I don’t care btw
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remember when professor flitwick in harry potter got queer eyed
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Harry Potter: *exists* Aunt Petunia Dursley:
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How did Harry Potter and the other boys sit comfortably on their brooms? Were the testicles pushed to one side or was there a spell like “penus deletus” to temporarily hide their junk?
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Harry Potter: Voldemort killed Cedric Ministry of magic: Liar Harry: use a pensieve to view my memories Ministry: we don wanna
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harry potter: i’m depressed dumbledore: your parents died when you were a baby, cedric and your godfather were killed in front of you, a homicidal maniac is trying to kill you. i get it harry: yeah dumbledore: so i need you to go on a deadly quest to find some soul trinkets
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remake Harry Potter with an all-muppet cast but have Severus Snape played by Adam Driver
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Snape: just flick your wand, say "accio," and whatever you desire will come to y– Harry Potter: ACCIO MY PARENTS *two corpses come flying thru the window* Harry: [screaming] Snape: lmao
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u think harry potter ever thought about just picking up a gun
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harry potter, age 11: why do you hate weasleys so much? they seem nice draco malfoy: they are blood traitors. i bet they use toilets too harry potter: i- [voice cracking] what
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the reason everyone in the harry potter movies was white is because no parent of color would ever let their child spend 9 months out of the year at a place where trees beat the shit out of u and a giant snake lurked in the bathrooms waiting to eat children. in this essay i will
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harry potter if he was a vlogger 1. i killed my professor 2. HOW TO SURVIVE A BASILISK ATTACK (w/ tips) 3. my stalker tried to kill me 4. i saw my crush’s boyfriend die? 5. O.W.L.S vlog (gone wrong!) 6. girlfriend tag! (ft. ginny weasley) 7. I DIED + CAME BACK (not clickbait)
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The Order of the Phoenix should be called Harry Potter And The 267 Times Mrs Weasley Was Right But Everyone Ignored And Gaslit Her Because They’d All Decided She Was A Hysterical Bitch
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Harry Potter and that's it that's the book
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Me: Do you have the Harry Potter audiobook? DJ: no
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Dobby is a free elf, Dobby is eternally grateful to Harry Potter
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Ah yes, the four Hogwarts houses
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Ginny weasley opening the chamber of secrets and getting everyone killed
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when you get kicked out of hogwarts and have to sell wands on the black market
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Remember how in Harry Potter, Mrs. Weasley had that clock that showed where her family was, & it stopped working once Voldemort came back because now all the hands always just pointed to MORTAL PERIL? That’s what I think about whenever anyone asks anyone “How are you?” these days
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Voldemort: I’m here to kill Harry Pott- [struggling to open baby gate] James Potter: push down and then pull back Voldemort: I am [still struggling] Lily Potter: jiggle it he needs to jiggle it Voldemort: I AM JIGGLING IT; You know what forget it I’ll come back when he’s 10
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harry was really gonna let ron get all the way to hogwarts and not tell him he’s got dirt on his nose cause hes a fake ass fuckin friend hermione’s the only real one in this whole shit
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Voldemort was really beefing with a kid.
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Darth Vader: I killed three whole planets. Thanos: I killed half the universe. Voldemort: I uhh...almost killed this one kid like 7 times. Everyone: Voldemort: *shakes head sadly* stupid mother’s love.
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when you're tied with slytherin but dumbledore says fuck it and gives 10 points to gryffindor last minute https://t.co/a6tEq8Utbp
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ron after a year of trying to figure out how hermione is taking so many classes while she gaslights him
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antoni and karamo look like hogwarts professors who volunteered to chaperone the yule ball just for an opportunity to get dressed up
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8-year-old: Never do forbidden curses. Me: That's right. 8: Unless you won't get caught. I'm raising a Slytherin.
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DUMBLEDORE: Hey this 11 year old is now responsible for saving us from Magic Hitler. EVERYONE ELSE: Okay.
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FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous. SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue.
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ALBUS: We must protect Harry AT ALL COSTS. SNAPE: His first Triwizard task is to defeat a dragon. ALBUS: Oh shit this'll be siiiiiiick.
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ALBUS: Only the most powerful magic can destroy a horcrux HARRY: Gotcha ALBUS: Do you? HARRY: Gonna need one hell of an Expelliarmus ALBUS:
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Voldemort: I’m here to kill Harry Pott- [struggling to open baby gate] James Potter: push down and then pull back Voldemort: I am [still struggling] Lily Potter: jiggle it he needs to jiggle it Voldemort: I AM JIGGLING IT; You know what forget it I’ll come back when he’s 10
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"Dammit," said Tom, shaking the wand violently. I AM LORD DOLT MOVER Harry's scar surged like white fire as Dolt Mover swore repeatedly
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there are no buff wizards in Harry Potter, no gym in Hogwarts, no-one does a push-up at any point. I could crack Ron Weasley’s spine like a glowstick
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What's your favorite Harry Potter joke? Share it in the comments below!
This article contains content from Michele Bird, Casey Rackham, and Andy Golder. It was compiled by Salimah McCullough.