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We Watched Episode 2 Of "First Dates" Australia And Had So Many Thoughts

NO ONE SAID THERE'D BE BREAD.

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1. Deedee is beautiful omg.

2. She seems very down to earth too.

3. Is this bartender paid to make awkward conversation with the dates?

4. But I also low-key kinda love the bartender.

5. I wanna go on a first date with him.

6. Sean is so awkward and that's just in his camera interview, not even on the actual date.

7. Oh shit they're not drinking that sounds horrible tbh.

8. This guy is ruining it "You seem older than 24... it's a good thing."

9. Deedee's teeth are mesmerising.

10. I wonder what toothpaste she uses.

11. Sean's, like, blinded by her smile.

12. Same tho.

13. "What do you sleep in?" … um. Wat.

14. Oh I kinda love Sean. He keeps asking her sincere questions and she just laughs in his face.

15. When you ask someone out and they just laugh at you… it's time to leave.

16. This guy is so sweet and so infatuated with her.

17. But also if he doesn't take her, can I please go on a date with her?

18. HE FINALLY GOT HER NUMBER! Thank god, these two are adorable.

19. Heh heh she said whip it out.

20. I want them to go off and make adorable babies.

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21. Stephanie's best friend is a sponge. Cool.

22. Did she bring the make-up suitcase to the date?!

23. She's confused about what cocktail to get and the waiter is all "Champagne and strawberries?"

24. What a basic bartender.

25. Jordan is HUGE.

26. Did he say he's a player?

27. OH! A TOPLESS WAITER!

28. Hang on, he got a black eye FROM A SEX TOY?! What an injury.

29. I like this girl. "He didn't ask me for money so I just took it."

30. This guy's a topless waiter so basically he's Magic Mike?

31. OMG SHE'S READING OUT THE WHOLE ORDER.

32. "I'll get the chives 18 thanks."

33. "That's the price."

34. I LOVE HER.

35. Why…. is Stephanie so confused about bread being there?

36. "No one said there'd be bread...."

37. That's going to my life motto from now on.

38. Dance like no one's watching, eat like no one said there'd be bread.

39. She asked for his birthday and then said: "My dog died on that day." FUCK ME.

40. I love how these two are bickering already.

41. "It's decadent.."

42. "First…um OK."

43. God, if they don't want a second date together I will be heartbroken.

44. Unless they both come back and have dates.

45. Jordan is actually really sweet? IDK I love him and his muscles.

46. But Steph is an actual goddess and I am obsessed.

47. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time that someone has brought up rollerblading on a first date.

48. I also have no idea what the context of her bringing up rollerblading was? But I also don't care?!

49. OMG she guessed his karaoke song!

50. This girl is fucking amazing.

51. Expert rollerblader, karaoke psychic.

52. "It's fun to pick on someone." My new queen has arrived.

53. I need her in my life.

54. I love these guys a lot and I want them to get married.

55. They're perfect for each other.

56. WHY DOESN'T HE WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH HER?

57. Okay this kinda broke my heart. But hopefully that means she'll be back.

58. SHE'S PERFECT.

59. Ugh.

60. WAIT. THEY LEFT TO GO TO KARAOKE TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!

61. Channel 7, we need a Steph and Jordan spin-off please and thank you.

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62. Donna looks a LOT younger than 52.

63. Well done, Donna.

64. This bartender is such a flirt can we please give him a spin-off show?

65. "As long as he comes." Heh heh heh... yeah.

66. Tony wants everyone to know it still works down there. K.

67. Tony is creepy sorry.

68. I don't like hearing old men saying "libido".

69. "Have you been waiting long?" "Long enough for me to skol this drink m8."

70. She's ordering oysters, so basically saying, "Let's fuck".

71. This whole oyster eating experience is just way too sexually charged for my liking.

72. Oysters are like the snotballs of the sea, why is that sexy?

73. Donna's so thirsty for some lovin'.

74. She just keeps making sex moans. Why Donna? Why?

75. Old people flirting horrify me.

76. "When I first saw Tony I made a lot of sex noises?"

77. DONNA STAHP.

78. Save it for the bedroom Donna.

79. *Cuts back to Donna* ... *moaning intensifies*

80. I love how he left his credit card hanging out of the folder so we could all see that it was a gold card.

81. She's DRUNK.

82. Lol not drunk enough to agree to a second date though.

83. Say lovely again Donna, dare ya.

84. Hayley is TINY.

85. But she is GORGEOUS.

86. Hayley love the bad boys. Same Hayles. Same.

87. She keeps leaning over the table to him. SIGNALS.

88. Chris's favorite word is "yeah".

89. Oh he's so nervous.

90. And so quiet. Thank god she's confident enough to keep the chat up.

91. I LIKE THESE TWO THEY'RE KINDA CUTE.

92. When Hayley is talking about her palms being sweaty while learning how to ride a motorbike, it makes me think she's going to break into Eminem.

93. "Palms sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy, vomit on the motorbike already, mom's spaghetti."

94. Oh this is my kind of date. Sitting at a restaurant, eating, while discussing pancakes.

95. Why is she so untrusting of a 24-hour pancake place?

96. They're feeding each other!

97. I love them. I want to be this cute.

98. But not share food.

99. I can't tell if she's crazy or just young and cute?

100. They're sharing a dessert! So adorable!

101. Or they're just poor.

102. YES I LOVE THESE TWO, I will go to their wedding, I accept.

103. YAAAAAAY, Lauren, the "not crazy" girl is back!!!

104. MY UNICORN QUEEN HAS RETURNED!

105. WITH HER GIANT HANDBAG! (It's so giant?!?!)

106. I loved Lauren in episode one, and I am ready for her (and me) to find love.

107. I wonder how many times she'll tell her new date that she's not crazy.

108. She said her last date with Corbin was hard because she did most of the talking.

109. Lol Lauren whenever he tried to answer, you talked over the top of him.

110. How is Alan 26?? He carries himself like he's about 56.

111. OMG he asked for two ice cubes.

112. These guys are m4eo.

113. Holy shit Lauren brought up the butter again.

114. Maybe her subconscious just really wants some damn butter.

115. He took it like a champ! The butter, that is.

116. This guy is actually super cute.

117. And she secretly is in love with him.

118. Lauren and Alan seem like the type of people who'd have sex and still try and win.

119. He better want a second date with Lauren. :(

120. HE DOES.

121. I love them. Justice for our Unicorn Queen.

122. WHAT AN EPISODE.

123. This show is so iconic.

124. I hope Donna and Tony at least had a good night, they were both super sweet.

125. And thank GOD our Unicorn Queen had a good date.

126. But the real MVPs were Hayley and Chris.

127. I hope they have pancakes at their wedding.

128. I hope they don't mind if I make a speech at their wedding.

129. Thank GOD Stephanie is coming back she is A GODDESS.

130. I hope she's still confused by bread and menus.

131. And I hope she arrives on rollerblades.

132. God I love this show.

133. I just love love. And bread.

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